As for love, he had missed it long ago. But existence was still rich,
still full of savor, so long as a man's will held his grip on men and
circumstance.
All action, he thought, is the climbing of a precipice, upheld above
infinity by one slender sustaining rope. Call it what we like--will,
faith, ambition, the wish to live--in the end it fails us all. And in
that moment, when we begin to imagine how and when it may fail us, we
hear, across the sea of time, the first phantom tolling of the
funeral bell.
There were times now when he seemed to feel the cold approaching breath
of such a moment. But they were still invariably succeeded by a
passionate recoil of life and energy. By the time he reached the hotel
he was once more plunged in all the preoccupations, the schemes, the
pugnacities of the party leader.
* * * * *
A month later, on an evening toward the end of June, Dr. Roughsedge,
lying reading in the shade of his little garden, saw his wife
approaching. He raised himself with alacrity.
"You've seen her?"
"Yes."
With this monosyllabic answer Mrs. Roughsedge seated herself, and slowly
untied her bonnet-strings.
"My dear, you seem discomposed."
"I hate _men_!" said Mrs. Roughsedge, vehemently.
The doctor raised his eyebrows. "I apologize for my existence. But you
might go so far as to explain."
Mrs. Roughsedge was silent.
"How is that child?" said the doctor, abruptly. "Come!--I am as fond of
her as you are."
Mrs. Roughsedge raised her handkerchief.
"That any man with a heart--" she began, in a stifled voice.
"Why you should speculate on anything so abnormal!" cried the doctor,
impatiently. "I suppose your remark applies to Oliver Marsham. Is she
breaking her own heart?--that's all that signifies."
"She is extremely well and cheerful."
"Well, then, what's the matter?"
Mrs. Roughsedge looked out of the window, twisting her handkerchief.
"Nothing--only--everything seems done and finished."
"At twenty-two?" The doctor laughed, "And it's not quite four months
yet since the poor thing discovered that her doll was stuffed with
sawdust. Really, Patricia!"
Mrs. Roughsedge slowly shook her head.
"I suspect what it all means," said her husband, "is that she did not
show as much interest as she ought in Hugh's performance."
"She was most kind, and asked me endless questions. She made me promise
to bring her the press-cuttings and read her his letters. She could not
possibly have shown more sympathy."
"H'm!--well, I give it up."
"Henry!"--his wife turned upon him--"I am convinced that poor child will
never marry!"
"Give her time, my dear, and don't talk nonsense!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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