The only value that such thoughts can have in life is that they should
teach us to live in a frank and sincere mood, waiting patiently for the
Lord, as the old Psalmist said. My own philosophy is a very simple
one, and, if I could only be truer to it, it would bring me the
strength which I lack. It is this; that being what we are, such frail,
mysterious, inexplicable beings, we should wait humbly and hopefully
upon God, not attempting, nor even wishing, to make up our minds upon
these deep secrets, only determined that we will be true to the inner
light, and that we will not accept any solution which depends for its
success upon neglecting or overlooking any of the phenomena with which
we are confronted. We find ourselves placed in the world, in definite
relations with certain people, endowed with certain qualities, with
faults and fears, with hopes and joys, with likes and dislikes. Evil
haunts us like a shadow, and though it menaces our happiness, we fall
again and again under its dominion; in the depths of our spirit a voice
speaks, which assures us again and again that truth and purity and love
are the best and dearest things that we can desire; and that voice,
however imperfectly, I try to obey, because it seems the strongest and
clearest of all the voices that call to me. I try to regard all
experience, whether sweet or bitter, fair or foul, as sent me by the
great and awful power that put me where I am. The strongest and best
things in the world seem to me to be peace and tranquillity, and the
same hidden power seems to be leading me thither; and to lead me all
the faster whenever I try not to fret, not to grieve, not to despair.
"_Casting all your care upon him, for he careth for you,_" says the
Divine Word; and the more that I follow intuition rather than reason,
the nearer I seem to come to the truth. I have lately wasted much
fruitless thought over an anxious decision, weighing motives,
forecasting possibilities. I knew at the time how useless it all was,
and that my course would be made clear at the right moment; and I will
tell the story of how it was made clear, as testimony to the perfect
guidance of the divine hand. I was taking a journey, and the weary
process was going on in my mind; every possible argument for and
against the step was being reviewed and tested; I could not read, I
could not even look abroad upon the world. The train drew up at a dull
suburban station, where our tickets were collected. The signal was
given, and we started. It was at this moment that the conviction came,
and I saw how I must act, with a certainty which I could not gainsay or
resist. My reason had anticipated the opposite decision, but I had no
longer any doubt or hesitation. The only question was how and when to
announce the result; but when I returned home the same evening there
was the letter waiting for me which gave the very opportunity I
desired; and I have since learnt without surprise that the letter was
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