Civil service -- Fiction; London (England) -- Fiction
And there was yet another objection to Miss Golightly; one even more
difficult of mention, one on which Charley felt himself more absolutely
constrained to silence than even either of the other two. He was
sufficiently disinclined to speak to his cousin Alaric as to the merits
either of Mr. Jabesh M'Ruen or of Miss Geraghty, but he could have been
eloquent on either rather than whisper a word as to the third person who
stood between him and the £20,000.
The school in which Charley now lived, that of the infernal navvies,
had taught him to laugh at romance; but it had not been so successful in
quelling the early feelings of his youth, in drying up the fountains of
poetry within him, as had been the case with his cousin, in that
other school in which he had been a scholar. Charley was a dissipated,
dissolute rake, and in some sense had degraded himself; but he had still
this chance of safety on his side, that he himself reprobated his own
sins. He dreamt of other things and a better life. He made visions to
himself of a sweet home, and a sweeter, sweetest, lovely wife; a love
whose hair should not be redolent of smoke, nor her hands reeking with
gin, nor her services at the demand of every libertine who wanted a
screw of tobacco, or a glass of 'cold without.'
He had made such a vision to himself, and the angel with which he had
filled it was not a creature of his imagination. She who was to reign
in this ethereal paradise, this happy home, far as the poles away
from Norfolk Street, was a living being in the sublunar globe, present
sometimes to Charley's eyes, and now so often present to his thoughts;
and yet she was but a child, and as ignorant that she had ever touched a
lover's heart by her childish charms as though she had been a baby.
After all, even on Charley's part, it was but a vision. He never really
thought that his young inamorata would or could be to him a real true
heart's companion, returning his love with the double love of a woman,
watching his health, curing his vices, and making the sweet things
of the world a living reality around him. This love of his was but
a vision, but not the less on that account did it interfere with his
cousin Alaric's proposition, in reference to Miss Clementina Golightly.
That other love also, that squalid love of his, was in truth no
vision--was a stern, palpable reality, very difficult to get rid of,
and one which he often thought to himself would very probably swallow up
that other love, and drive his sweet dream far away into utter darkness
and dim chaotic space.
But at any rate it was clear that there was no room in his heart for
the beauteous Clementina, 'doosed fine girl' as she undoubtedly was, and
serviceable as the £20,000 most certainly would have been.
CHAPTER XVIII
A DAY WITH ONE OF THE NAVVIES.--MORNING
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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