"'Lodgings! I hate, I detest lodgings!' he said to himself. 'Connubial bliss and furnished lodgings are not compatible. My aunt, my aunt, for what misery hast thou not to answer! Oh, Mrs. Gamp, could you be so obliging as to tell me what o'clock it is?' The last question was asked as Mrs. Gamp suddenly entered the room with a candle. Macassar's watch had been required for the use of one of the servants. "'It's just half-past heleven, this wery moment as is,' said Mrs. Gamp; 'and the finest boy babby as my heyes, which has seen a many, has ever sat upon.' "Up, up to the ceiling went the horsehair cushion of the lodging-house sofa--up went the footstool after it, and its four wooden legs in falling made a terrible clatter on the mahogany loo-table. Macassar in his joy got hold of Mrs. Gamp, and kissed her heartily, forgetful of the fumes of gin. 'Hurrah!' shouted he,' hurrah, hurrah, hurrah! Oh, Mrs. Gamp, I feel so--so--so--I really don't know how I feel.' "He danced round the room with noisy joy, till Mrs. Gamp made him understand how very unsuited were such riotous ebullitions to the weak state of his lady-love upstairs. He then gave over, not the dancing but the noise, and went on capering round the room with suppressed steps, ever and anon singing to himself in a whisper, 'The loveliest lady that ever was seen Is still the Lady Crinoline.' "A few minutes afterwards a knock at the door was heard, and the monthly nurse entered. She held something in her embrace; but he could not see what. He looked down pryingly into her arms, and at the first glance thought that it was his umbrella. But then he heard a little pipe, and he knew that it was his child. "We will not intrude further on the first interview between Macassar and his heir." * * * * * 'And so ends the romantic history of "Crinoline and Macassar",' said Mrs. Woodward; 'and I am sure, Charley, we are all very much obliged to you for the excellent moral lessons you have given us.' 'I'm so delighted with it,' said Katie; 'I do so like that Macassar.' 'So do I,' said Linda, yawning; 'and the old man with the thin grey hair.' 'Come, girls, it's nearly one o'clock, and we'll go to bed,' said the mother. 'Uncle Bat has been asleep these two hours.' And so they went off to their respective chambers. CHAPTER XXIII SURBITON COLLOQUIES