As Nigel walked down the hill towards Sparrow Hall, a great quickening
realisation struck his exhausted heart. He knew that his dream was not
dead. Tony, the light in which he had seen it, was gone for ever, but
the dream itself was still there in the dark. For six months he had
tried to lead a good and honourable life, and now, though the motive was
gone, the old desire remained as strong and white as ever. He could
never be as he had been before he met Tony. He knew now that it was not
she that had called him--she had merely opened his ears to a voice that
had been calling him all through his life, through struggle, lust and
pain, failure and hate--and was calling him still, through the utter
darkness. The child in him, which had desperately sought congenial
comradeship in a little girl, rose out of the wreck, and heard as in a
dream the voices of boys and girls in London, laughing, fooling and
ragging together, calling to all in him that was gay and young and
outrageous. He wanted to go back to London, he wanted to play and to
work, and to win for himself what he had once yearned to win for Tony.
His music, that one touch of the poetic and supernatural in his sordid,
materialistic life, would raise him up in this his Last Day, and give
him his heart's desire--his desire for a clean life and an honourable
name.
He stood for a moment in the great lonely field--the last of the sun and
the first of the moon upon him, around him the dawning eternity of the
stars. Two hours ago he had been festering, sick, with his schemes, the
comrade of a hundred repulsive ideas. Now he was alone--utterly alone
with his one great ambition, stripped of the last rag of personal motive
that had clung to it--his ambition to be honest and pure and true.
Tony had pointed him out the way, and directly he had taken it, she had
gone--to show it to another man, and walk in it with him. Nigel suddenly
pictured that man. He was at Redpale Farm ... he kneeled in the dust at
Tony's feet ... her hands were upon his head. In her he found
redemption, love and blessing--and dared he, Furlonger, grudge
redemption, love and blessing to any man? He did not grudge them--let
Quentin Lowe take them, walk in white with Tony, and be worthy of her.
Furlonger, too, would walk in white and be worthy--but he would walk
alone.
No, not quite alone. He trod softly up the path to Sparrow Hall, between
the ranks of the folded flowers. The evening primroses and night-scented
stock sent their fragrance in with him at the door. The house was in
darkness, and he groped his way to the kitchen, where he found Janey.
She was half asleep in the armchair by the fire--she had laid the
supper, that dreary little supper for two, and now lay huddled by the
dying embers, cold, in spite of the thick heat of the night.
"Janey," whispered Nigel, as he kissed her.
She started.
"Oh, you're back at last!--what a time you've been!"
"I'm sorry, dear. Come now, I'll light the lamp, and we'll have supper."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account