"Not at all. My dear young man, I see a glorious future ahead of you, if
you will only trouble to secure it. Come to London and study music----"
"Please don't talk nonsense."
"It is not nonsense. You are wonderfully gifted. I don't say you are a
genius, for you are not--but you are wonderfully gifted, and your
history will make you interesting to the ladies. With your talent and
your history and--and your face, you ought to do really well, if only
some enterprising person would take you in hand."
"Which isn't likely."
"I beg your pardon--it is most likely. I will do it."
Nigel was more surprised than grateful.
"No, thank you."
"Do not be proud. It is purely a business offer. I expect to make money
out of you, and--what do you call it?--credit. Listen here--if you
cannot pay my fees, I will give you a year's tuition free of charge, on
condition that I have a percentage on your salaries during the next
five years. That is a generous offer--many a young man would give much
to have me for professor."
Nigel shook his head.
"Thanks awfully--but I'm not keen on it."
"And why?"
"Well, for one thing, I don't want to make my stinking past into an
advertisement, and for another I don't want to go back to prison."
"Prison!--that is a strange name for fame and big salaries."
"I'm not thinking of those so much as of what must come before them--all
the grind and slavery. My music's the only part of me that has never
been in prison, and if I make a trade and treadmill out of it, I shall
be degrading it just as I have degraded everything else about me."
"It will not be degradation--on the contrary."
"And I don't believe I shall ever make myself a name."
"That remains to be seen. I don't expect you to become world-famous, but
there is no reason why you should not be exceedingly successful in
England, where no one bothers very much about taste or technique. Taste
you have none, technique---- Lord help us!--but temperament--ach,
temperament! You have suffered--hein?"
Nigel coloured. He could not answer--because he felt this man had
suffered too.
"Of course, you have suffered--you could not play like that if you had
not. Without your suffering you would be a clever amateur--just that.
But now, because you have suffered, you are something more. 'Wer nie
sein Brod mit Thränen ass'--you doubtless know our Goethe's wonderful
lines. So"--and his dark, restless eyes looked up almost imploringly to
the sky--"sorrow has one use in this world."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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