The Tithe-Proctor: The Works of William Carleton, Volume TwoCarleton, William
General
The Tithe-Proctor: The Works of William Carleton, Volume Two
Carleton, William
Ireland -- Social life and customs -- Fiction
“Well, now, Catherine,” said he, addressing his daughter, who sat near
him, “upon my honor and conscience that was a friendly paragraph of my
friend Swiggerly--extremely so, indeed. The fact is, a dinner and a good
jorum is never thrown away upon honest Swiggerly; for which raison I'll
ask him to dine here on Thursday next.”
He then handed her the paper, pointing out the paragraph in question,
which she read with something of an arch smile, and which, on her
brother Fergus (who had been to Lisnagola) joining them, she handed to
him.
“Fergus,” said she, looking at him with an expression of character
still more comic, but yet sufficiently subdued to prevent O'Driscol from
observing it, “is not that paragraph very complimentary to papa?”
Fergus, who at once reciprocated the comic glance alluded to, replied
rather significantly, “It is certainly very gratifying to him,
Catherine.”
“And very creditable to Swiggerly,” added O'Driscol.
“Yes, father,” replied Fergus, “but I think he ought to preserve, if
possible, a little more originality. The substance of that paragraph has
been regularly in his paper, in one shape or other, three or four
times a year during the last couple of years. I ought to except the
introduction of the threatening notice, which certainly is a new
feature, and the only new one in it.”
“Fergus,” said the father, whilst his round, red, convivial features
became more inflamed, “you are super-critical this morning.”
“Not at all, sir; but you will excuse me for saying, that I think a man
who is seeking to ingratiate himself with the government, what is more,
to receive substantial favors from it, ought not, from principles of
self-respect, to suffer these stereotyped paragraphs to appear from
time to time. Government is not so blind, sir, but they will at once see
through the object of such paragraphs.”
“Staryrayotyped! What the devil, sir, do you mane by staryrayotype?
Do you mane to make a staryrayotype of me? That's dutiful, Mr.
Fergus--filial duty, clane and clear--and no doubt about it. But I tell
you, sir, that in spite of your staryrayotypes, it is such articles as
the able one of my friend Swiggerly that constitutes the force of public
opinion. Government! Why, sir, the government is undher more obligations
to me than I am to them. It was my activity and loyalty that was the
manes, principally, of returnin' the son of the gustus ratalorum of the
county for the borough of Addleborough. He was their own candidate; and
if that wasn't layin' them undher an obligation to me, I don't know what
was. You may say what you like, but I repate, it's a right good, thing
to have the force of public opinion in your favor.”
“Yes, of public opinion, I grant you; but surely you cannot pretend,
father, that such gross and barefaced flattery as that can be termed
public opinion?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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