The Tithe-Proctor: The Works of William Carleton, Volume TwoCarleton, William
General
The Tithe-Proctor: The Works of William Carleton, Volume Two
Carleton, William
Ireland -- Social life and customs -- Fiction
The magistrate then proceeded to finish his paragraph, as he said, by
his important manner of doing which, Purcel, who thoroughly understood
him, was much amused. He frequently paused for instance, placed his chin
in the end of his half-closed hand, somewhat like an egg in an egg-cup,
looked in a meditative mood into Purcel's face, without appearing to see
him at all; then went over to the library, which ought rather to have
been pronounced his son's than his; and after having consulted a book--a
Latin Horace, which by the way he opened at the art of poetry, of which
volume it is, we presume, unnecessary to say, he did not understand
a syllable, he returned to his desk seemingly satisfied, and wrote on
until he had concluded the passage he was composing. He read it once in
silence, then nodded his head complacently, as if satisfied with what
he had Written, after which he rubbed his hands and closing the desk
exclaimed, “D--n all governments, Mr. Purcel, and I wish to heaven there
never had been a magistrate in Ireland.”
“Why, what kind of doctrine is this, Fitzy,” exclaimed his friend,
“especially from such a loyal man and active magistrate as you are.”
“D--n loyalty too, Mr. Purcel, it's breakin' my heart and will break
it--I think I'll emigrate to America before they kill me here.”
“Why, to tell you the truth, my dear Fitzy, I was a good deal alarmed
when I heard of that ugly notice you got; but it's not every man would
have borne the thing with such courage as you did.”
“Thank you, Mister Purcel, I feel that as a compliment coming from you;
and by the way, I haven't forgotten to mention you with praise in
my correspondence with the Castle. However--ha! ha! ha! you rather
misunderstood me--I mane to say that the life is worn out of me, by our
present government--Good God! my friend, surely they ought to know that
there's plenty of magistrates in the country besides myself, that could
give them the information they want upon the state of the country, and
the steps they ought to take to tranquillize it, as well as I could; I
can't, however, get them to think so, and the consequence is that that
d--n Castle can't rub its elbow without consulting, me.”
“Well,” replied Purcel, “you are to blame yourself for it; if you were
not so loyal, and zealous, and courageous too, as you are, they would
let you alone and leave you to peace and quietness, as they do other
people.”
“Upon my honor and conscience, it's little pace or quietness they
leave me, then; but I agree with you, that the whole cause of it is
my well-known loyal principle and surprising activity in keeping down
disturbance and sedition. Widow Cleary's affair was an unlucky one for
me, and indeed, Mat, it was the activity and resolution that I displayed
in making herself and her spawn of ragged brats prisoners at the head
of the Possy Comeatus, aided by the military, that first brought me into
notice with the Castle.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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