The Tithe-Proctor: The Works of William Carleton, Volume TwoCarleton, William
General
The Tithe-Proctor: The Works of William Carleton, Volume Two
Carleton, William
Ireland -- Social life and customs -- Fiction
On the morning but one afterwards, John Purcel proceeded to the house of
his friend and neighbor, Fitzy O'Driscol, as he was usually termed for
brevity. O'Driscol was rather a small man--that is to say, he was short
but thick, and of full habit. He was naturally well made, and had
been considered well-looking, until his complexion became a good deal
inflamed from the effects of social indulgence, to which he was rather
strongly addicted. His natural manner would have been plausible if he
had allowed it to remain natural; but so far from this, he affected an
air of pomp and dignity, that savored very strongly of the mock heroic.
On the other side, his clothes fitted him very well, and as he had a
good leg and a neat small foot, he availed himself of every possible
opportunity to show them. He was, like most men of weak minds,
exceedingly fond of ornaments, on which account he had his fingers
loaded with costly rings, and at least two or three folds of a large
gold chain hung about his breast. His morning gown was quite a tasteful,
and even an expensive article, and his slippers, heavily embroidered,
harmonized admirably with the whole fashionable deshabille in which he
often distributed justice. He carried a gold snuff-box of very massive
size, which, when dining out, he always produced after dinner for the
benefit of the company, although he never took snuff himself. This, in
addition to a tolerably stiff and unreclaimable brogue, and a style
of pronunciation wofully out of keeping with his elegant undress,
constituted him the very beau-ideal of what is usually known as a
_shoneen_ magistrate.
John, on arriving, found him reading a paper in the breakfast-parlor,
and saw Hourigan waiting outside, who, by the way, gave him such a
look as a cat might be supposed to bestow upon a mastiff from whom she
dreaded an attack--a look which, in Hourigan's case, combined as much
ferocious vengeance and sullen hang-dog cowardice as could well be
brought together on the same features.
“Well, Jack,” said the pompous distributor of justice, addressing young
Purcel, “how do you do? Take a seat--by the way, is it true that your
father and my excellent friend, Dr. Turbot, were shot at yesterday?”
“True enough,” replied John; “the bullet whistled right between them,
and so close that each felt the wind of it.”
“The country is getting into a frightful state, friend Purcel, eh? Upon
my honor now, yes! it is so--it is so.”
“Why there is no question of it,” replied John; “it is already in a
frightful state.”
“It is, Mr. Purcel, and in my opinion, the _crame_ of the matter will be
blood--blood--my dear John--that is what it will come to.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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