The Tithe-Proctor: The Works of William Carleton, Volume TwoCarleton, William
General
The Tithe-Proctor: The Works of William Carleton, Volume Two
Carleton, William
Ireland -- Social life and customs -- Fiction
“Yes,” exclaimed the magistrate, “oh! ay!--yes!--hem--a conspiracy!
Well--no matter--let it rest for a little. Well--as this case is one
of great difficulty, involving several profound points of law, I would
recommend you to make it up, and be friends. Hourigan, you will forgive
Mr. Purcel, who is hasty but generous. You will forgive him, I say, and
he will give you something in the shape of a--salve for your wounds.
Come, forgive him, Hourigan, and I will overlook, on my part, the
seditious language you used against the Irish magistracy; and, besides,
you will make me your friend.”
“Forgive him, sir!” said Hourigan, shrugging himself, and putting up his
hand to feel the welts of black and blue which intersected each other
upon his countenance and shoulders. “An' maybe it's half-a-crown he'll
threwn me.”
“No, no, Hourigan, I'll guarantee for him that he'll treat you
liberally: one good turn deserves another, you know.”
“Well, then, let him say what he'll give me.”
“There's a pound-note for you,” said Purcel, flinging it across the
table. “If you take that, you may, but if not, I'll give no more.
Your worship, this, you perceive, is cross-case, and if you receive
examination on the one side, you will, of course, upon the other?”
“True,” replied O'Driscol, who had not thought of this, and who
seized upon it as a perfect relief to him; “true, Mr. Purcel, it is a
cross-case, and so I understand it. Let me recommend you to take the
money, Hourigan.”
“Well, then, your honor, I will, on your account, and bekaise, as your
worship says, bekaise one good tarn desarues another, an' ought to get
it. I'm satisfied for the present.” And as he spoke, he turned, in a
skulking, furtive manner, such a look upon Purcel as we will not attempt
to describe.
“Now, Hourigan,” said O'Driscol, “I am glad I have settled this matter
in your favor. If I had taken Mr. Purcel's informations, you would have
certainly been transported; but the truth is, and I trust you have
seen it this day, and will allow it, that in my magisterial capacity,
although just and impartial I hope, yet, still, whenever I can with
raison, I am always disposed to lane towards the poor man, and be the
poor man's magistrate--hem--ahem!”
“Yes, plaise your honor,” said Hourigan, rather drily, “but it's so hard
to make the people at large believe the truth, sir. Good-mornin',
your worship, an' many thanks for the illigant justice you gave me.
Good-mornin' you, too, Misther Purcel; I hope we'll be betther friends,
sir.”
“And I hope you will pay your tithes, and keep a civiler tongue in your
head,” replied the latter, as Hourigan left the office.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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