"I wasn't talking of success," she said. "That's no answer." He
swung her hand to and fro with vehement impatience. "Suppose you
were free--yes, you've got to suppose it just for a moment--suppose
you were free--and suppose I came to you with both hands full, and
offered you myself and all I possessed--would you send me empty
away? Would you? Would you?"
He spoke with a fevered insistence. His eyes were alight and
eager. Just so had he spoken in the long ago when she had given
him her girlish heart in full and happy surrender.
There was no surrender in her attitude now, but yet she could not,
she could not, relentlessly send him from her. He appealed so
strongly, with so intense an earnestness.
"I can't imagine these things, Guy," she said at last. "I only ask
you--implore you--to do your best to keep straight. It is worth
while, believe me. You will find that it is worth while."
"It might be--with you to make it so," he said. "Without you----"
She shook her head. "No--no! For other, better reasons. We have
our duty to do. We must do it. It is the only way to be happy. I
am sure of that."
"Have you found it so?" he said. "Are you happy?"
She hesitated.
He pressed his advantage instantly. "You are not. You know you
are not. Do you think you can deceive me even though you may
deceive yourself? We have known each other too long for that. You
are not happy, Sylvia. You are afraid of life as it is--of life as
it might be. You haven't pluck to take your fate into your own
hands and hew out a way for yourself. You're the slave of
circumstances and you're afraid to break free." He made as if he
would release her, and then suddenly, unexpectedly, caught her hand
up to his face. "All the same, you are mine--you are mine!" he
told her hotly. "You belonged to me from the beginning, and
nothing else counts or ever can count against that. I would have
died to get out of your way. I tried to die. But you brought me
back. And now, say what you like--say what you like--you are mine!
I saw it in your eyes last night, and I defy every law that man
ever made to take you from me. I defy the thing you call duty.
You love me! You have always loved me! Deny it if you can!"
It was swift, it was almost overwhelming. At another moment it
might have swept her off her feet. But a greater force was at work
within her, and she stood her ground.
She drew her hand away. "Not like that, Guy," she said. "I love
you. Yes, I love you. But only as a friend. You--you don't
understand me. How should you? I have grown beyond all your
knowledge of me. I was a girl in the old days--when we played at
love together." A sharp sob rose in her throat, but she stifled
it. "All that is over. I am a woman now. My eyes are
open,--and--the romance is all gone."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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