There had been a time when he had thought to rectify the evil, to
save Guy from himself, to implant in him something of that moral
fibre which he so grievously lacked. But he had been forced long
since to recognize his own limitations in this respect. Guy was
fundamentally wanting in that strength which was so essentially a
part of his own character, and he had been compelled at last to
admit that no outside influence could supply the want. He had come
very reluctantly to realize that no faith could be reposed in him,
and when that conviction had taken final hold upon him, Burke had
relinquished the struggle in disgust.
Yet, curiously, behind all his disappointment, even contempt, there
yet lurked in his soul an odd liking for the young man. Guy was
most strangely likable, however deep he sank. Unstable,
unreliable, wholly outside the pale as he was, yet there ever hung
about him a nameless, indescribable fascination which redeemed him
from utter degradation, a charm which very curiously kept him from
being classed with the swine. There was a natural gameness about
him that men found good. Even at his worst, he was never revolting.
He seemed to Burke a mass of irresponsible inconsistency. He was
full of splendid possibilities that invariably withered ere they
approached fruition. He had come to regard him as a born failure,
and though for Sylvia's sake he had made this final effort, he had
small faith in its success. Only she was so hard to resist, that
frank-eyed, earnest young partner of his. She was so unutterably
dear in all her ways. How could he hear the tremor of her pleading
voice and refuse her?
The memory of her came over him like a warm soft wave. He felt
again the quick pressure of her arm about his neck, the fleeting
sweetness of her kiss. How had he kept himself from catching her
to his heart in that moment, and holding her there while he drank
his fill of the cup she had so shyly proffered? How had he ever
suffered her to flit from him down the rough _kopje_ and turn at
the bottom with the old intangible shield uplifted between them?
The blood raced in his veins. He clenched his hands in impotent
self-contempt. And yet at the back of his man's soul he knew that
by that very forbearance his every natural impulse condemned, he
had strengthened his position, he had laid the foundation-stone of
a fabric that would endure against storm and tempest. The house
that he would build would be an abiding-place--no swiftly raised
tent upon the sand. It would take time to build it, infinite care,
possibly untold sacrifice. But when built, it would be absolutely
solid, proof for all time against every wind that blew. For every
stone would be laid with care and made fast with the cement that is
indestructible. And it would be founded upon a rock.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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