Married women -- Fiction; Mothers -- Fiction; Women authors -- Fiction
"We want our children to do all the brave deeds we've failed to do. We
want them to fulfill our defeated ambitions and to become what we have
never become. We want to save them from our mistakes and our regrets.
We haven't done much with our own lives--but we're going to live again,
more wisely and effectually, in our children's lives."
And so they had advised and coerced, and destroyed individuality and
independence, and extinguished, only too often, the very joy of life
itself by striving to transfer the flame to a vessel of their own
choosing.
This she must not do to Eric, Sheila told herself. From the despotic
impulse of parenthood--queer mixture that it was of too zealous love
and a thoroughly selfish desire for a second chance through the medium
of the child--she must protect Eric. Therefore she restrained herself;
she simply waited--as she might have waited for a seed to spring up
from the secret sprouting place of some deep garden bed. It requires a
sort of earthy, benign patience thus to hold back one's hand and
passively wait--especially when one has, in spite of oneself, the
dominating parent instinct!--but Sheila forced herself to it.
And then, when Eric was fourteen years old, the seed sprang up through
the soil and turned its face to the light. The boy came to Sheila one
day, obviously bent upon a confidence. Shy, hesitant, shamefaced he
was, but so eager. She wanted to kiss him as he stood there before
her, awkward and winsome, a little too tall for his knickerbockers,
child and adolescent contending in his face and the flush of some
portentous thing upon his cheek. She wanted to kiss him--but she
didn't. For she divined that the moment was for sterner stuff than
kisses.
"Mother, here's--here's a story I've written."
That was all; but Sheila saw her own youth, her hopes, her dreams in
his eyes. What there was in her eyes she did not know, but at
something there Eric suddenly exclaimed and put his arms around her.
And then Sheila knew that she was crying.
It was not a marvellous story--that first effort of her young
son's--but _something was there_; something that raised the crude,
immature pages above immaturity and crudity and made the little tale
better than itself. And sensing it--that evanescent, impalpable, but
infinitely promising thing--she saw the future shining through the
present.
But it was not to Eric that she went first with her discovery. She
longed to make the boy's path smooth for him before she sped him on it,
and so she went first to Ted, story in hand.
Ted had not desired talent in his wife. Would he desire it in his son?
Would he cheer and encourage, would he even tolerate, a dreamer, a
poet, a worker in mere beauty? Would he ever regard art as more than a
shadow of life?
Sheila sought him now to learn that--with Eric's story to plead for
itself.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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