She did not answer. Derry had moved, and her eyes had instantly moved
with him.
"Why is he putting out by himself? Why aren't you with him?" I asked.
"Oh--as long as I know where he is----"
"Didn't he ask you to join him?"
"No."
"The first time for two days?"
No reply.
"I wonder why he didn't ask you?"
"I wonder," she repeated.
"Have you no idea?"
With that she suddenly confronted me. She stood with her hands on either
side of the window-frame, dark against the morning light. She looked
straight into my eyes.
"Isn't this rather a catechism, George?" she said. "Your tone too. I
want you to tell me something. It's this; Are these _really_ the
questions you're wanting to ask me?"
She said it with the proudest calm; but whatever it was that existed
between us made me for some moments longer as calm as herself.
"I do want to know those things. Otherwise I shouldn't have asked you."
"Oh, I'm afraid I said it badly. That's not what I meant. I mean are
those the _only_ questions you want to ask me?"
The moment she said it I was much less certain that they were not. Her
next words plunged me still deeper into doubt. She spoke as it were
direct from the heart of some uttermost complexity.
"What _is_ the relation between you and me, George?" she demanded.
I considered, my eyes downcast. I felt hers steadily on my face all the
time. I spoke in a low voice.
"I'm beginning to know less than ever."
"You'd hardly call it ordinary, would you--conventional and so on?"
"That's quite the last word I should use."
"It's not ordinary because of an extraordinary element that's at the
very root of it. You know what that is; it's"--her eyes went towards the
punt--"it's all him. He's got us all on the run. Give him his head and
he could have the whole world on the run. There's no reason about it; as
many people as knew about him would simply be bewitched. So I've taken
it for granted that we don't quite come under everyday rules. We have to
break and make rules as we go along.... About those questions. They
really _are_ all that you want to know--just what he'll do next and so
on?" she challenged me.
I think I should have broken in on the spot with a "Yes--I want to know
_nothing_ else--nothing at all!" But she gave me no time. Her eyes
called my own downcast ones peremptorily up from the floor.
"Because," she said, with the utmost distinctness in the shaping of each
syllable, "I notice that since breakfast you've shaved, George. You've
also changed your clothes. One does not usually change one's clothes
immediately after breakfast. I suppose Mrs Moxon is brushing the others.
They needed brushing. They had bits of dried grass and heather on
them.... George--George dear--thank you----"
I spoke in little more than a whisper. "For--going out?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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