That on Wednesday, June 30th, In a pathetic little jotting of
Julia had been scheming to the same date, that he feared
make herself his secretary. he would never write his
book, that he was "getting
too young for it," but that he
intended to attempt it at all
costs.
That on the following Friday That he now doubted whether
and Saturday, at my house, what he had at first thought
he had been vivid, momentary, to be will-power had really
intense. been that at all; in fact, that
the real effort of will would
have been, not to put his
work out of his head for a
couple of days, _but to
remember it_.
At this point I began to grow excited. It seemed to me that at last I
began to see light. I had taken him step by step from the starting-point
of June 8th to the evening of Saturday, July 3rd, and the reason I had
not gone beyond that date was that the diary itself stopped there. Its
last entry was the one I have just given--that he feared he had been
mistaken in supposing that will-power had had anything whatever to do
with that stolen week-end's holiday.
Oh, had there but been one, one single entry dated Sunday, July 4th!
For if it was possible for him to shuffle off four years in what I may
call an ordinary night, what was _im_possible after an experience as
stupefying as had been his on the night of Saturday-Sunday?
And yet in appearance it had not altered him. I had spent practically
the whole of Sunday with him, and there had been nothing to indicate
that he was not still twenty-nine. His manner, it is true, had been
alternately jumpy and morose, but that might have been the mere vague
pull of his Wanderjahre. Therefore it looked as if that mad onslaught of
Julia's on his stability had passed him over after all.
_Ah, but wait a moment!..._ I sat up at my desk, vociferating the words
aloud. Were we at such a dead end after all? Perhaps not....
And first of all I remembered that question I had asked him about the
flash-lamp as he had stood behind the screen of rugosa roses on the
Sunday afternoon. "Has there been a moment since yesterday when that
lamp has been held as close as it could be held?" Again I saw his sudden
pallor. Again I felt his clutch on my shoulder, again heard his faint
"George--I've been trying to remember ... the lamp ... very close ...
touching ... one intense brilliant spot ... but I swear I never moved
it ... it was as if somebody took the torch out of my hand ... somebody
meddled in my life...."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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