There was no atmosphere of soft and factitious half-illumination now.
This was the full blaze of a perfect August midday, that flooded the
shop with sunshine and made a dazzle of Jennie's little white hat with
the cord about it, of the burnished hair beneath. The sleeves of her
white frock were cut short above the dimple of her elbow, the tiny blue
ribbon across her shoulders peeped through. She in her sunny white, he
in black vareuse and corduroys brown as a wintry coppice, again stood
looking one at the other.
And for the second time within the course of a sun I saw the world begin
anew, as it begins anew for some he, for some she, with every moment
that passes. For the beginning of the cradle is not the real beginning.
That is only the end of the darkness of forebeing that is pierced with a
woman's pang. That is still an uneasy slumber, yea, even though it
weakly smile, and by and by stumble over its syllables, and stumble over
its own uncertain feet, and walk, and spell, and use a tennis-racket. It
is incomplete, and will never be complete in itself. It is completed in
that moment when its eyes open on other eyes, and the wonder kindles
there, and the ground underfoot is forgotten, and the surrounding
sunlight is forgotten, and nothing is remembered except that those eyes
have found their other-own eyes, and, though they lose them again in
that same instant, never to see them again, will remember them in the
hour when the shadow closes over all. That, that re-begins the cycle, is
our real beginning. It was that which, in that tawdry Bazaar, turned the
golden sunlight to a nimbus about us.
Again I touched her.
"The yellow one, is it? Let me put it in my pocket."
I had secured her arm. I picked up for her the horrible fifty-centime
notes of her change. She had dropped her eyes, and her face was as
rich-coloured as her lips, her lips a pulpy quiver. I felt the touch of
Derry's hand on my sleeve, but I disregarded it. I felt bitterly towards
him.
"Come along, my dear," I said; and I pushed her past him.
Yet if, as he had said, he wished merely to see her, merely to speak
with her, he had half his wish in that moment. Her left arm was in my
right one, I between her and him. Suddenly, blush or no blush, she
lifted her head. Behind me, she looked full at him. For two, three paces
her head and shoulders continued to turn. I set my lips and looked
straight ahead.
Then her head dropped again. Her teeth caught at her upper lip. For a
moment she was a limp weight on my arm. We left the shop.
I saw his face at the window as we passed. Whether or not he stepped to
the door to watch us out of sight I do not know.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account