"Isn't it--isn't it a little rough on a fellow, sir?"
In a moment I was on my knees by his side. "Derry! Derry! Derry!" I
repeated over and over again. It was all the speech I could find.
"Isn't it rough on a fellow, sir? Isn't it? Isn't it?"
"Derry my boy, my boy!"
"I feel you're right in a way, sir--you're bound to be wiser than I
am--but when I heard them singing that song this evening ... le long de
mon calvaire ... en espérant j'ai pu souffrir ... rien n'est fini, tout
recommence ... it seemed so like it all, sir--you don't know--you've no
idea----"
I rocked him gently in my arms.
"You don't know--you can't possibly know--nobody knows who hasn't been
through it. Mon calvaire--mon Dieu! And to have it hurt you like that
just because you are _able_ to hope! Not the end after all, but the
beginning of everything! Oh, can't you see it, sir--not even a little
bit of it?"
"Yes, talk, my boy--get it over----"
"I shall be all right in a minute. It simply got me by the throat. That
song, I mean. I suppose it's just an ordinary song really--the French
are like that--but it got me by the throat, it was so like me. So like
the way things have been with me. What did they say it was called? I've
forgotten."
"'_Il est venu le Jour._'"
"Yes, that's it. The day's come. After all that. It came that night--I'm
not making a joke, sir--that night in the garden. It's been day ever
since. Night's been day, like a soft sun shining all night. And I
wouldn't ask you to lift a finger to help me if I didn't know it was
quite all right. I do know. It's she who's made everything all right.
That's the funny thing about her--that she's made everything perfectly
all right again. I wonder why that is?"
"Don't wonder. Just stay quiet a while."
"But a fellow can't help wondering a bit. Why should it have made
everything all right the moment I set eyes on her? But she did. I told
you about something happening before, sir, something I can't quite
remember about. That seemed like some sort of an emptying--leaving me
all empty and aching, if you understand. But this filled it all up
again, with happiness and I don't know what--lovely things--all since
that night. That's what makes me so sure. I wouldn't say it if it wasn't
true. It isn't the kind of thing one cares to be untruthful about, is
it? You're in the same house with her--you see her--you know what I
mean----"
Between this simplicity and his late menace, what could I say for his
comfort, what do for my own? I was torn in two. I was a weary, elderly
man, careworn and disillusioned; but he, through unimaginable
tribulation, had mysteriously found this place of stillness and peace
and hope. What his intimidation had not done, that his utter reliance
and trust now began to do. He sat up on the rocks and began to talk.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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