Whether Madge and Julia were friends because of, or in spite of, the
differences in their nature, I will not attempt to say. In the situation
now in course of development at Ker Annic, however, they struck me as
not so much different as opposite. Madge's bark is always infinitely
more terrifying than her bite; but the more mischief Julia meditated the
stiller she always became, except for a little dancing play deep-drowned
in her eyes. She had risk-taking eyes, and the expression in them, if
you looked at her as if you wondered whether she had counted the cost,
was one of detached surprise that you should pause to weigh chances with
the gorgeous adventure plain before you.
And what a risk she now contemplated, certainly for him, perhaps more
for herself! What the penalty of failure--or of success--might be to
herself I cannot tell you, since I am not in the habit of speculating
about what responsibilities ladies incur who love a man all their lives,
grow up alongside him as a "jolly good sort," violently assail him when
he clings as it were to a loop amid the dizzy curves of his life's
track, and then, when he comes to rest and again begins slowly to
revolve on the turn-table at the terminus, put out their hands to the
lever once more. What she had taken from him, what she had given him in
return, were mysteries beyond me. I merely realised that, if she
undertook this in the spirit of adventure, it was adventure on a
well-nigh apocalyptic scale.
But what about him? For him it was not a question, as it was for her, of
a few weeks' madness and then a folding of the hands, the Nunc Dimittis
and darkness. She would merely be putting the seal on a life that
already anticipated its close; but he would be asked to cut one off in
the very moment of its re-flowering. He saw ahead of him that boon for
which humanity has cried out ever since another woman gave her man the
Knowledge in the Garden. "Ah, might I live again knowing what I know
now!" ... _Si jeunesse savait, si vieillesse pouvait!..._ He did know,
he was able; and Julia Oliphant, discovering that she had done all for
Jennie Aird, now sought to take it back again. For should ruin
supervene, it would be Jennie, not Julia, who would now be robbed and
wronged. I could hardly look at Julia, standing there by the hedge,
without re-living those anguished moments in which I had ascended his
stairs and knocked at his door, hardly daring to hope for an answer. He
knew not that ultimately it was from Julia that he now had this manna
and honey, this healing oil and wine. He only knew that he received them
at Jennie's hands, and with this soft nourishment he had victualled his
Tower.
So what disaster might not befall if Julia were to introduce that yeasty
fermenting element of herself all over again?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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