And there, in that sun-flooded court, I had a swift premonition.
Something seemed to tell me that he was not going to paint it. Neither
was he going to write about it, nor even to speak of it again. He had no
wish to communicate it to any other person, by any means whatever. That
he himself possessed the pure understanding of it was enough; he would
not even care that any should know that he knew, so he might but have
the bliss of knowing. His painting was over, as his writing was over.
Contemplation, withdrawal, solitude, the infinite soft ecstasy of being
at one with that which is not one self, though it were but the sunlight
on a bit of fifteenth-century plaster--that, it now flashed suddenly on
me, was what we might henceforward expect.
And though he understood all mysteries, and had all knowledge, yet he
now had something even richer to profit him. He had his Love.
"I should very much like a cup of tea," said Madge.
Instantly he was all graceful attention. The human desire for a cup of
tea was equally a thing to be understood.
"This glare does get in your eyes a bit," he smiled. "There's a nice
shady place not five minutes away."
As he led us back through the cloisters he all but took her arm.
His place was gratefully shady. Through a small teashop one passed into
a sort of leafy cage that, I learned, had at one time been an aviary. It
was empty, and at a little rustic table against the trellis we sat
down.
"Would you mind ordering, Sir George?" he said. "This is one of my
off-days for French, I'm afraid."
I ordered tea.
My new premonition proceeded to take still further possession of me. As
he chatted with modest freedom to Madge I fell more and more into
abstraction. I suppose that in all the circumstances it was my part to
have taken charge of the conversation, to have guided it through the
rocks and shoals of the difficult position, but I couldn't. Anyway he
seemed quite capable of doing so.
Capable? There was nothing of which he was not capable. And yet at the
same time he was capable of nothing! For, supposing that my foreboding
was right, what was his future? Isolation and Oblivion indeed! What man
can live, sufficient unto himself, excommunicated from the world,
wrapped in the vanity that he is not as others? Who dare dwell alone
with Truth? Is it not our anchorage and our joy to run with our little
half-truths in our hands and to thrust them upon our neighbour, that he
may admire and share them with us? Who so great that some such
littleness is not the very leaven of his life? Derwent Rose had written;
Derwent Rose had painted; and now Derwent Rose would withdraw himself to
some Tower, shut the door behind him, and be forgotten of men because
their affairs were too small for him.... It was just as well that I was
going to adopt him. What otherwise would his living be? In what corner
of earth would he plant his cabbages and cherish his perfect and
unprofitable knowledge?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account