English fiction -- 20th century; Short stories, English
With the menfolk she got on well enough, without being of the type of
woman who can only bask in male society; neither was she lacking in the
general qualities which make an individual useful and desirable as a
member of a co-operative community. She did not try to “get the better
of” her fellow-hosts by snatching little advantages or cleverly evading
her just contributions; she was not inclined to be boring or snobbish in
the way of personal reminiscence. She played a fair game of bridge, and
her card-room manners were irreproachable. But wherever she came in
contact with her own sex the light of battle kindled at once; her talent
of arousing animosity seemed to border on positive genius.
Whether the object of her attentions was thick-skinned or sensitive,
quick-tempered or good-natured, Mrs. Pentherby managed to achieve the
same effect. She exposed little weaknesses, she prodded sore places, she
snubbed enthusiasms, she was generally right in a matter of argument, or,
if wrong, she somehow contrived to make her adversary appear foolish and
opinionated. She did, and said, horrible things in a matter-of-fact
innocent way, and she did, and said, matter-of-fact innocent things in a
horrible way. In short, the unanimous feminine verdict on her was that
she was objectionable.
There was no question of taking sides, as the Major had anticipated; in
fact, dislike of Mrs. Pentherby was almost a bond of union between the
other women, and more than one threatening disagreement had been rapidly
dissipated by her obvious and malicious attempts to inflame and extend
it; and the most irritating thing about her was her successful assumption
of unruffled composure at moments when the tempers of her adversaries
were with difficulty kept under control. She made her most scathing
remarks in the tone of a tube conductor announcing that the next station
is Brompton Road—the measured, listless tone of one who knows he is
right, but is utterly indifferent to the fact that he proclaims.
On one occasion Mrs. Val Gwepton, who was not blessed with the most
reposeful of temperaments, fairly let herself go, and gave Mrs. Pentherby
a vivid and truthful _résumé_ of her opinion of her. The object of this
unpent storm of accumulated animosity waited patiently for a lull, and
then remarked quietly to the angry little woman—
“And now, my dear Mrs. Gwepton, let me tell you something that I’ve been
wanting to say for the last two or three minutes, only you wouldn’t give
me a chance; you’ve got a hairpin dropping out on the left side. You
thin-haired women always find it difficult to keep your hairpins in.”
“What can one do with a woman like that?” Mrs. Val demanded afterwards of
a sympathising audience.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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