To this I replied that I had taken nothing upon myself in my letters, but that it was not my province to prevent the Doctor and persons of the Church from naming me as they pleased. This was not my province, since I was under the obedience of the Church to approve what she decrees, and not to correct her; and I said the same in regard to His Holiness, if (as they declared) he caused me to be prayed for everywhere under a title of which I was ignorant. In any case I wished to die and to obey the Church, but not to murder any one in order to possess his rights; but in all this I saw clearly portrayed Saul's persecutions of David, yet I cannot escape as he did, by the window, but it may be that from the shedding of my blood protectors may arise for the sufferers in this universal quarrel." [Footnote 51: Labanoff, vi. 466.] After reading these words, which bear the vivid impress of Mary's steadfast faith, we are not surprised to hear that during her talk with Lord Buckhurst her face was illumined with an extraordinary joy at the thought that God had done her the honour to choose her as the instrument for the defence of the Catholic faith;[52] and we may imagine that Lord Buckhurst was capable of admiring, although he may not have sympathised with, her sentiments. Paulet took different views, and in a letter to Walsingham, in which he refers to the Queen's "superfluous and idle speeches on other occasions," he adds, "I am deceived if my Lord of Buckhurst will not give the same testimony of her tediousness."[53] [Footnote 52: Camden, ii.] [Footnote 53: _Letter Books_, p. 311.] CHAPTER VI AFTER THE SENTENCE Lord Buckhurst left Fotheringay on the 21st November, and the same day brought a fresh trial to the Queen,--one which his presence would probably have averted. Paulet, accompanied by Sir Drew Drury, who, although, according to the Queen, "far more modest and gracious," did not oppose his colleague's proceedings, waited on Mary, and Paulet told her that as she had shown no signs of repentance for her faults, their Queen had commanded that her dais with the royal arms, the emblem of her sovereignty, should be taken down, "because," continued he, "you are now only a dead woman, without the dignity or honours of a queen."