MRS. HURL. (_without taking the slightest notice of him_). She's just been marryin' her daughter, you know--rather a good match, too. Not what I call pretty,--smart-lookin', that's all. But then her _sister_ wasn't pretty till she married. COL. SAND. Nice family she married into! Met her father-in-law, old Lord Bletherham, the other morning, at a chemist's in Piccadilly--he'd dropped in there for a pick-me-up; and there he was, tellin' the chemist all the troubles he'd had with his other sons marryin' the way they did, and that. Rum man to go and confide in his chemist, but he's like that--fond of the vine! MR. C. S. Er--her--it's becoming a very serious thing, Sir, the way our aristocracy is deteriorating, is it not? [Illustration: "I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'RE ACQUAINTED WITH A PAPER CALLED THE 'PENNY PATRICIAN'?"] COL. S. Is it? What have they been up to now, eh? Haven't seen a paper for days. MR. C. S. I mean these mixed marriages, and, well, their general goings on. I don't know if you're acquainted with a paper called the _Penny Patrician_? I take it in regularly, and I assure _you_--loyal supporter of our old hereditary institutions as I am--some of the revelations I read about in high life make me blush--yes, downright _blush_ for them! [MRS. HURLINGHAM _retires_. COL. S. Do they, though? If I were you I should let 'em do their own blushin', and save my pennies. MR. C. S. (_deferentially_). No doubt you're right, Sir, but I _like_ the _Patrician_ myself--it's very smartly written. Talking of that, do you happen to know the ins and outs of that marriage of young Lord Goslington's? Something very mysterious about the party he's going to marry--who _are_ her people now? COL. S. Can't say, I'm sure--no business of mine, you know. MR. C. S. There I venture to think you're wrong, Sir. It's the business of everybody--the _duty_, I may say--to see that the best blood of the nation is not----(COL. S. _turns into the hotel_; MR. C. S. _sits down near_ CULCH.)--Remarkably superior set of visitors staying here, Sir! My chief objection to travel always is, that it brings you in contact with parties you wouldn't think of associating with at home. I was making that same remark to a very pleasant little fellow I met on the steamer--er--Lord Uppersole, I think it was--and he entirely concurred. Your friend made us acquainted.--(PODBURY _comes out of the hotel_.)--Ah, here _is_ your friend,--(_To_ PODB.)--Seen his Lordship about lately, Sir?--Lord Uppersole I _mean_, of course! PODB. Uppersole? No--he's over at Cadenabbia, I believe. MR. C. S. A highly agreeable spot to stay at. Indeed, I've some idea myself of----Exceedingly pleasant person his Lordship--so affable, so completely the gentleman! PODB. Oh, he's affable enough--for a boot-maker. I always give him a title when I see him, for the joke of the thing--he likes it.