SCENE--_A double-bedded room in the Grand Hotel Dandolo, which_ PODBURY _and_ CULCHARD _have to share for the night._ PODB. (_from his bed, suspiciously, to_ CULCHARD, _who is setting fire to a small pastille in a soap-dish_). I say, old chappie, bar _fireworks_, you know! What the deuce _are_ you up to over there? CULCH. Lighting a "fidibus." Splendid thing to drive out mosquitoes. (_The pastille fizzes, and begins to emit a dense white smoke, and a suffocating odour._) PODB. (_bounding_). Mosquitoes! It would drive a _dragon_ out. Phew--ah! (CULCHARD _closes the window_.) You _don't_ mean to say you're going to shut me up in this infernal reek on a stifling night like this? CULCH. If I didn't, the mosquitoes would come in again. PODB. Come in? With that pastille doing the young Vesuvius! _Do_ you think a mosquito's a born fool? (_He jumps out and opens the window._) I'm not going to be smoked like a wasp's nest, _I_ can tell you! CULCH. (_calmly shutting it again, as_ PODBURY _returns to bed_). You'll be grateful to me by-and-by. [_Slips between his mosquito curtains in a gingerly manner, and switches off the electric light. A silence._ PODB. I say, you ain't asleep, are you? Think we shall see anything of them to-morrow, eh? CULCH. See? I can _hear_ one singing in my ear at this moment. (_Irritably._) You _would_ open the window! PODB. (_sleepily_). Not mosquitoes. I meant Hypatia, and the--haw--yaw--Trotters. CULCH. How can _I_ tell? (_Second silence._) Podbury! What did I _tell_ you? One's just bitten me--the _beast_! (_He turns on the light, and slaps about frantically_). I say, I can hear him buzzing all over the place! PODB. So can I hear _you_ buzzing. How the dickens is a fellow to get to sleep while you're playing Punch and Judy in there? CULCH. He's got me on the nose now! There's a lot outside. Just turn off the light, will you? I daren't put my arm out. (_To_ Mosquito.) You brute! (_To_ PODB.) Podbury, _do_ switch off the light--like a good fellow! PODB. (_dreamily_). Glass up, Gondolier ... stifling in this cab ... drive me ... nearest Doge. [_He snores._ CULCH. Brutal selfishness! (_Turns out the light himself._) Now if I can only get off to sleep while that little beast is quiet---- MOSQUITO (_ironically, in his ear_). Ping-a-wing-wing! _Same Scene; the next morning._ CULCH. (_drawing_ PODBURY'S _curtains_). Here, wake up, Podbury--it's just eight. (PODBURY _sits up, and rubs his eyes_.) I've had a _horrible_ night, my dear fellow! I'm stung to such an extent! But (_hopefully_) I suppose there's nothing to _show_ particularly, eh? [_Presenting his countenance for inspection._ PODB. Not much of your original features, old fellow! (_He roars with laughter._) You've got a pair of cheeks like a raised map! CULCH. It--it's going _down_. Nothing to what it _was_, half an hour ago! PODB. Then I'm jolly glad you didn't call me earlier, that's all!