Whenever they passed under a lamp K. tried to see his companions more
clearly, as far as was possible when they were pressed so close
together, as in the dim light of his room this had been hardly
possible. "Maybe they're tenors," he thought as he saw their big double
chins. The cleanliness of their faces disgusted him. He could see the
hands that cleaned them, passing over the corners of their eyes,
rubbing at their upper lips, scratching out the creases on those chins.
When K. noticed that, he stopped, which meant the others had to stop
too; they were at the edge of an open square, devoid of people but
decorated with flower beds. "Why did they send you, of all people!" he
cried out, more a shout than a question. The two gentleman clearly knew
no answer to give, they waited, their free arms hanging down, like
nurses when the patient needs to rest. "I will go no further," said K.
as if to see what would happen. The gentlemen did not need to make any
answer, it was enough that they did not loosen their grip on K. and
tried to move him on, but K. resisted them. "I'll soon have no need of
much strength, I'll use all of it now," he thought. He thought of the
flies that tear their legs off struggling to get free of the flypaper.
"These gentleman will have some hard work to do."
Just then, Miss Bürstner came up into the square in front of them from
the steps leading from a small street at a lower level. It was not
certain that it was her, although the similarity was, of course, great.
But it did not matter to K. whether it was certainly her anyway, he
just became suddenly aware that there was no point in his resistance.
There would be nothing heroic about it if he resisted, if he now caused
trouble for these gentlemen, if in defending himself he sought to enjoy
his last glimmer of life. He started walking, which pleased the
gentlemen and some of their pleasure conveyed itself to him. Now they
permitted him to decide which direction they took, and he decided to
take the direction that followed the young woman in front of them, not
so much because he wanted to catch up with her, nor even because he
wanted to keep her in sight for as long as possible, but only so that
he would not forget the reproach she represented for him. "The only
thing I can do now," he said to himself, and his thought was confirmed
by the equal length of his own steps with the steps of the two others,
"the only thing I can do now is keep my common sense and do what's
needed right till the end. I always wanted to go at the world and try
and do too much, and even to do it for something that was not too
cheap. That was wrong of me. Should I now show them I learned nothing
from facing trial for a year? Should I go out like someone stupid?
Should I let anyone say, after I'm gone, that at the start of the
proceedings I wanted to end them, and that now that they've ended I want
to start them again? I don't want anyone to say that. I'm grateful they
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