Yet his attitude toward her, in this respect, was strangely impersonal.
He was looking for no reward. He did not consider that he was placing
her in any way under an obligation to him. His joy in doing for her
was not based upon any idea of furthering his own interests. He was
utterly unselfish. He did not look ahead an hour. It was enough to
have her here in a position where he could be of some service.
His love for her was another matter entirely. Whether she were with
him or not, that would have remained the same. He loved her with all
there was in him, and that was more or less distinct from any attitude
that she might assume. It was a separate, definite, concrete fact, no
longer open to argument--no longer to be affected by any of the petty
accidents of circumstance. Not even she had now any control over it.
It was within her power to satisfy it or not; but that was all. She
could not destroy it. If she left it unfulfilled, then he must endure
that, as Peter had. Peter was not sorry that he loved her, and
Peter--why, Peter did not have the opportunity to sense more than the
first faint beginnings of the word love. Peter had not had those weeks
in Paris in which to get to know her; he had not had that wonderful
ride through sunny France with Marjory by his side; and Peter had had
nothing approaching such a day as this.
Monte turned to look at her. They had passed through Villefranche, and
were now taking the up grade. The exercise had flushed her cheeks,
giving her back the color she had lacked in the last few weeks. Her
eyes were upon the ground, as if she did not dare raise them. Her face
always seemed younger when one did not see the eyes. Asleep, she could
not have looked over twenty. He marveled at how delicately feminine
her forehead and nose were. And the lips--he could not look very long
at her lips. Warm and full of curves, they tugged at his heart. They
roused desire. Yet, had it been his blessed privilege to touch them
with his own, he would have been very gentle about it. A man must
needs always be gentle with her, he thought.
That was why he must not utter the phrases that burned within. It
would only frighten her, and he must see that she was never frightened
again. To himself he might say as much as he pleased, because she
could not hear. He could repeat to himself over and over again, as he
did now, "I love you--I love you--I love you."
Out loud, however, he said only:--
"Are you tired?"
She started even at that.
"No, Monte," she answered.
"We can rest any time you wish. We have all the time in the world
ahead of us."
"Have we?"
"Days and weeks and months," he replied.
It was the old Monte she heard--the easy, care-free Monte. It made her
feel easier.
"We should cross the border by to-morrow night, should n't we?" she
asked.
"We could, if it were necessary," he admitted.
She quickened her pace unconsciously.
"I think we should get there as soon as possible."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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