Children -- Fiction; England -- Fiction; Ghost stories; Governesses -- Fiction; Psychological fiction
“What _did_ you do, you naughty, bad thing? Why in the world, to worry
us so—and take our thoughts off, too, don’t you know?—did you desert us
at the very door?” I couldn’t meet such questions nor, as they asked
them, their false little lovely eyes; yet it was all so exactly what I
should have to meet that, as the prospect grew sharp to me, I at last
let myself go.
I got, so far as the immediate moment was concerned, away; I came
straight out of the churchyard and, thinking hard, retraced my steps
through the park. It seemed to me that by the time I reached the house
I had made up my mind I would fly. The Sunday stillness both of the
approaches and of the interior, in which I met no one, fairly excited
me with a sense of opportunity. Were I to get off quickly, this way, I
should get off without a scene, without a word. My quickness would have
to be remarkable, however, and the question of a conveyance was the
great one to settle. Tormented, in the hall, with difficulties and
obstacles, I remember sinking down at the foot of the
staircase—suddenly collapsing there on the lowest step and then, with a
revulsion, recalling that it was exactly where more than a month
before, in the darkness of night and just so bowed with evil things, I
had seen the specter of the most horrible of women. At this I was able
to straighten myself; I went the rest of the way up; I made, in my
bewilderment, for the schoolroom, where there were objects belonging to
me that I should have to take. But I opened the door to find again, in
a flash, my eyes unsealed. In the presence of what I saw I reeled
straight back upon my resistance.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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