Children -- Fiction; England -- Fiction; Ghost stories; Governesses -- Fiction; Psychological fiction
Seated at my own table in clear noonday light I saw a person whom,
without my previous experience, I should have taken at the first blush
for some housemaid who might have stayed at home to look after the
place and who, availing herself of rare relief from observation and of
the schoolroom table and my pens, ink, and paper, had applied herself
to the considerable effort of a letter to her sweetheart. There was an
effort in the way that, while her arms rested on the table, her hands
with evident weariness supported her head; but at the moment I took
this in I had already become aware that, in spite of my entrance, her
attitude strangely persisted. Then it was—with the very act of its
announcing itself—that her identity flared up in a change of posture.
She rose, not as if she had heard me, but with an indescribable grand
melancholy of indifference and detachment, and, within a dozen feet of
me, stood there as my vile predecessor. Dishonored and tragic, she was
all before me; but even as I fixed and, for memory, secured it, the
awful image passed away. Dark as midnight in her black dress, her
haggard beauty and her unutterable woe, she had looked at me long
enough to appear to say that her right to sit at my table was as good
as mine to sit at hers. While these instants lasted, indeed, I had the
extraordinary chill of feeling that it was I who was the intruder. It
was as a wild protest against it that, actually addressing her—“You
terrible, miserable woman!”—I heard myself break into a sound that, by
the open door, rang through the long passage and the empty house. She
looked at me as if she heard me, but I had recovered myself and cleared
the air. There was nothing in the room the next minute but the sunshine
and a sense that I must stay.
XVI
I had so perfectly expected that the return of my pupils would be
marked by a demonstration that I was freshly upset at having to take
into account that they were dumb about my absence. Instead of gaily
denouncing and caressing me, they made no allusion to my having failed
them, and I was left, for the time, on perceiving that she too said
nothing, to study Mrs. Grose’s odd face. I did this to such purpose
that I made sure they had in some way bribed her to silence; a silence
that, however, I would engage to break down on the first private
opportunity. This opportunity came before tea: I secured five minutes
with her in the housekeeper’s room, where, in the twilight, amid a
smell of lately baked bread, but with the place all swept and
garnished, I found her sitting in pained placidity before the fire. So
I see her still, so I see her best: facing the flame from her straight
chair in the dusky, shining room, a large clean image of the “put
away”—of drawers closed and locked and rest without a remedy.
“Oh, yes, they asked me to say nothing; and to please them—so long as
they were there—of course I promised. But what had happened to you?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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