Children -- Fiction; England -- Fiction; Ghost stories; Governesses -- Fiction; Psychological fiction
Even Mrs. Grose looked across at me dismayed, while I had nothing to do
but communicate again with the figure that, on the opposite bank,
without a movement, as rigidly still as if catching, beyond the
interval, our voices, was as vividly there for my disaster as it was
not there for my service. The wretched child had spoken exactly as if
she had got from some outside source each of her stabbing little words,
and I could therefore, in the full despair of all I had to accept, but
sadly shake my head at her. “If I had ever doubted, all my doubt would
at present have gone. I’ve been living with the miserable truth, and
now it has only too much closed round me. Of course I’ve lost you: I’ve
interfered, and you’ve seen—under _her_ dictation”—with which I faced,
over the pool again, our infernal witness—“the easy and perfect way to
meet it. I’ve done my best, but I’ve lost you. Goodbye.” For Mrs. Grose
I had an imperative, an almost frantic “Go, go!” before which, in
infinite distress, but mutely possessed of the little girl and clearly
convinced, in spite of her blindness, that something awful had occurred
and some collapse engulfed us, she retreated, by the way we had come,
as fast as she could move.
Of what first happened when I was left alone I had no subsequent
memory. I only knew that at the end of, I suppose, a quarter of an
hour, an odorous dampness and roughness, chilling and piercing my
trouble, had made me understand that I must have thrown myself, on my
face, on the ground and given way to a wildness of grief. I must have
lain there long and cried and sobbed, for when I raised my head the day
was almost done. I got up and looked a moment, through the twilight, at
the gray pool and its blank, haunted edge, and then I took, back to the
house, my dreary and difficult course. When I reached the gate in the
fence the boat, to my surprise, was gone, so that I had a fresh
reflection to make on Flora’s extraordinary command of the situation.
She passed that night, by the most tacit, and I should add, were not
the word so grotesque a false note, the happiest of arrangements, with
Mrs. Grose. I saw neither of them on my return, but, on the other hand,
as by an ambiguous compensation, I saw a great deal of Miles. I saw—I
can use no other phrase—so much of him that it was as if it were more
than it had ever been. No evening I had passed at Bly had the
portentous quality of this one; in spite of which—and in spite also of
the deeper depths of consternation that had opened beneath my
feet—there was literally, in the ebbing actual, an extraordinarily
sweet sadness. On reaching the house I had never so much as looked for
the boy; I had simply gone straight to my room to change what I was
wearing and to take in, at a glance, much material testimony to Flora’s
rupture. Her little belongings had all been removed. When later, by the
schoolroom fire, I was served with tea by the usual maid, I indulged,
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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