The TurnstileMason, A. E. W. (Alfred Edward Woodley)
General
The Turnstile
Mason, A. E. W. (Alfred Edward Woodley)
Fiction
Cynthia ran down the broad flight of steps into Westminster Hall, and
skimmed across the historic flags of the ancient building without a
pause. What at this moment was Charles the First to her, or even Mr.
Gladstone? She came out into Palace Yard and drove home through the
dusk just as the lamps in the shop-windows were beginning to bring
some gleams of cheerfulness into the black February streets. She sat
back in the corner of her car with her muff tightly held against her
breast as though to cherish close some knowledge treasured there. When
she reached her house she let herself in with her key and walked with
secret steps into Harry's study. Once there she locked the door and
with the firelight dancing upon the walls to keep her company, she sat
down to make her reckoning with herself. But in truth the reckoning
was already made.
The great bargain, on her side at all events, was a bargain no more,
could never again be a bargain. A veritable revolution had taken place
in her that afternoon. She knew it from the depth of her sympathy with
Harry in his failure--above all from the surprising sharpness of her
disappointment when Robert Brook had returned with no answer to her
scribbled message.
For the failure as a factor in their fortunes she cared not a straw.
Indeed, she welcomed it, since it was that which had wakened her. She
had believed herself to be defective in the quality of passion, and
her sense of the defect had hurt her like a bitter humiliation; she
had envied wistfully the other women who possessed passion, even the
wantons who flaunted it. Now the humiliation was gone. She rejoiced.
She leaned back in her chair with her eyes closed and sailed over
magical seas which were joyous and golden. She loved. She was like
some lady of old Italy lit to swift flame by the first kiss from her
lover's lips. Only it was a trivial irony in closer keeping with our
modern days that what had kindled her who had demanded ideas, was a
failure due to nothing but the lack of them.
Cynthia rejoiced; for she loved. That pain and disappointment were in
store for her she did not doubt. But she ran forward to meet the pain.
She was young. Sooner all the pain in the world than the placidity of
years without fire or inspiration. She recognized frankly that though
upon her side the bargain was no longer any bargain at all, it still
was just a bargain to her husband. A sign had been given to her that
afternoon, a little sign, yet great in its significance. She had
pleaded to herself as she sat in the ladies' gallery that when Harry
rose, and just before he began to speak, he had looked up to where she
sat, as though he were conscious of her presence, as though he drew
strength from it. But he had not looked up. Even at the time she had
known that he had not.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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