England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Love stories; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction
"You force me to tell you the truth," she went on. "He asked me who you
were, last night on our way home. I knew that you were rich, and that
_he_ wanted money. I told him I knew nothing of your position in the
world. He was too cunning to believe me; he went out to the public-house
and looked at a directory. He came back and said, 'Mr. Germaine has a
house in Berkeley Square and a country-seat in the Highlands. He is not
a man for a poor devil like me to offend; I mean to make a friend of
him, and I expect you to make a friend of him too.' He sat down and
wrote to you. I am living under that man's protection, Mr. Germaine. His
wife is not dead, as you may suppose; she is living, and I know her to
be living. I wrote to you that I was beneath your notice, and you have
obliged me to tell you why. Am I sufficiently degraded to bring you to
your senses?"
I drew closer to her. She tried to get up and leave me. I knew my
power over her, and used it (as any man in my place would have used it)
without scruple. I took her hand.
"I don't believe you have voluntarily degraded yourself," I said. "You
have been forced into your present position: there are circumstances
which excuse you, and which you are purposely keeping back from me.
Nothing will convince me that you are a base woman. Should I love you as
I love you, if you were really unworthy of me?"
She struggled to free her hand; I still held it. She tried to change the
subject. "There is one thing you haven't told me yet," she said, with a
faint, forced smile. "Have you seen the apparition of me again since I
left you?"
"No. Have _you_ ever seen _me_ again, as you saw me in your dream at the
inn in Edinburgh?"
"Never. Our visions of each other have left us. Can you tell why?"
If we had continued to speak on this subject, we must surely have
recognized each other. But the subject dropped. Instead of answering her
question, I drew her nearer to me--I returned to the forbidden subject
of my love.
"Look at me," I pleaded, "and tell me the truth. Can you see me, can you
hear me, and do you feel no answering sympathy in your own heart? Do you
really care nothing for me? Have you never once thought of me in all the
time that has passed since we last met?"
I spoke as I felt--fervently, passionately. She made a last effort to
repel me, and yielded even as she made it. Her hand closed on mine,
a low sigh fluttered on her lips. She answered with a sudden
self-abandonment; she recklessly cast herself loose from the restraints
which had held her up to this time.
"I think of you perpetually," she said. "I was thinking of you at the
opera last night. My heart leaped in me when I heard your voice in the
street."
"You love me!" I whispered.
"Love you!" she repeated. "My whole heart goes out to you in spite of
myself. Degraded as I am, unworthy as I am--knowing as I do that nothing
can ever come of it--I love you! I love you!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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