"Perhaps something may occur on your return, when you understand the matter more fully; or, at any rate, if you are writing to Oakworthy, you might send some message of farewell, kind remembrances, or love." "Those are so unmeaning and conventional that I hate them," said Marian. "Yes, but their want of meaning is their advantage here. They are merely kindly expressions of good will." "And they will mean more from you," added Agnes, "as you never have the civility to use them on ordinary occasions." "Well, I will take your advice," said Marian, "and thank you, Mrs. Wortley; I only wish--" The wish ended in a sigh, as Marian sat down to commence--"My dear Caroline." CHAPTER XI. "But we are women when boys are but boys; Heav'n gives us grace to ripen and grow wise, Some six years earlier. I thank heav'n for it: We grow upon the sunny side of the wall." TAYLOR. It certainly was quite involuntary on Agnes Wortley's part, but when the time came for returning to Oakworthy, Marian was conscious of more kindly and affectionate feelings towards it and its inhabitants than she had ever expected to entertain for them. She did not love Fern Torr or the Wortleys less; she had resumed her confidence and sympathy with Agnes, and felt the value of Mrs. Wortley more than ever; and it quite made her heart ache to think how long it would be before she saw another purple hill or dancing streamlet, and that she should not be there to see her dear old myrtle's full pride of blossom. But, on the other hand, her room at Oakworthy, with its treasures, was a sort of home; and she looked forward to it gladly, when once she was out of sight of the moors. The train had stopped and gone on again from the last station before that where they were to leave it for Oakworthy, when Gerald, coming across to the seat by her side, said, "Marian, I say, can you lend me a couple of pounds?" "Why, Gerald, what can you want with them?" "Never mind; only be a good girl, and let me have them." "You had plenty of money when you came to Fern Torr. How could you have got rid of it all?" "Come, come, Marian, don't be tiresome. Haven't I had to give to all the old women in the place?" "But do you really mean that you have no money?" "O yes, I have some, but not what I want. Come, I know you keep California in your pocket. What harm can it do you?" After all Marian's presents at Fern Torr, it was not quite as convenient, as Gerald fancied, to part with two pounds; but that was not the best motive to put forward, nor was it her reason for hesitating. "I don't know whether it is right; that is the thing, Gerald." "Right! why where is the right or wrong in it?" "I am afraid it may do you harm," said she, in a trembling, doubtful voice. "Stuff! I'll take care of that!" "If you would only tell me what you want it for?" "I tell you, Marian, I can't do without it; I don't know what I shall do, if you won't give it to me."