The Two Guardians: or, Home in This WorldYonge, Charlotte M. (Charlotte Mary)
General
The Two Guardians: or, Home in This World
Yonge, Charlotte M. (Charlotte Mary)
Fiction
Fatigue came on her now. When she took off the dress she had worn since
leaving Fern Torr, she found her limbs stiff and aching, and her head
dizzy with weariness. She could hardly get through the operation of
undressing; and when she tried to say her prayers, they would not come.
She could only go through the LORD'S Prayer; and too worn out to be
shocked at herself more than in a dull way, scarcely even alive to the
recollection of what had happened, she laid herself down on the bed,
which seemed strangely soft, but for a long time was too tired to sleep.
With confused thoughts and exhausted spirits, she kept on feeling as
if her aching limbs belonged to somebody else, and going off into odd,
dreamy vagaries, each more uncomfortable than the last,--ever and anon
waking into a moment's remembrance that Caroline was dead, wondering at
herself for being so dull as only to think it strange, then losing the
consciousness again. At last the light of morning made her perceptions
clearer. Fanny knocked at her door, and brought her a cup of tea.
She heard that all was quiet,--said she would get up; but with that
resolution she suddenly became more easy, and while believing she was
getting up, fell into a sound sleep.
She awoke refreshed, and entirely herself again, though feeling stunned
and bewildered by the all-pervading thought. Caroline dead! It seemed
as if it was not otherwise with the rest of the family. Her illness had
been so short, that there had been no time to grow familiar with the
idea of her danger; and it was the first death in the household that had
hitherto been so strong and confident in health,--the first touch that
taught them how little the world they loved was an abiding-place. So
sudden had been the stroke, that they seemed to pause and stand aghast
under it, scarcely conscious how deep the wound might be. Her father
went about the house, bowed down and stricken with grief, his tones low,
sorrowful, and so gentle when speaking to his children, or to Marian,
that they could scarcely be recognised as the same voice; but, without
a word, so far as Marian, Clara, or Lionel knew, of his daughter, or
of his own feelings. Her mother, already very weak, and suffering most
acutely from the remembrance of the coldness with which she had treated
her during the last autumn, became so seriously unwell, between a
return of influenza, and her extreme depression and nervous hysterical
agitation, that Marian and Clara were almost entirely occupied in
nursing her, and trying to soothe her. In this work they were little
successful. Marian had no hold on her affection, no power of talking
soothingly, though most anxious to do what she could, and distressed
excessively by her inability to be a comfort in the painful scenes which
she was obliged to witness. She almost thought her presence made things
worse, and that Mrs. Lyddell wished her away; but poor Clara was so
entirely helpless and frightened, clung to her in so imploring a way,
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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