“I have been wandering about the world all this time, working and
doing well enough. I can offer you something better now than the
little cottage we once spoke of, though that would have been
Paradise. I am leaving along with this letter, and hope to arrive
in England almost as soon. I do not ask you to write--unless indeed
you would, of your own sweet kindness--one word--to Chester Street?
But even if you don’t do that, I will go to Russell Square in the
hope of finding you. Mary! don’t break my heart. You liked me once.
If I knew what to say that would move you, I would make this letter
miles long; but I don’t know what more to say, except that I love
you better than ever, and no one but you; and that I am coming back
to England for you, for you only--half hopeless, only determined to
try once more. Perhaps by the time you have read this I may be at
your door.
“Ever and ever yours,
“GEORGE DURHAM.”
“Mary!” cried some one calling me; “Mary, what is the matter? Have you
bad news, my dear? Mary! Good gracious, the child will faint! Mary,
don’t you hear me?”
“Oh, hush, hush!” I cried, not knowing what I said. “Hark! listen! is
that him at the door?”
It was not him just then; and after a little while the curtains stopped
going round, and the floor and the Square and everything about grew
solid and steady, and I came to myself. To myself, yes--but not to the
same self as had been sitting so sadly holding my old lady’s hand. What
a change all in a moment! If I had not been so happy, I should have been
ashamed to think that a man’s letter could all in a moment make such a
change in a woman’s life. It is demoralising to the last degree--it
comes in the way of all the proper efforts of education and independent
thought, and everything that is most necessary and elevating. If in a
moment, without any virtue of yours, without any exertion of yours, you
are to have your existence all altered for you--the greyness turned into
brightness, the labour into ease, the poverty into wealth--how is it to
be supposed that you can be trained aright? It is demoralising: but it
is very pleasant. Oh, the change in one half-hour!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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