"That is only another reason why you must go away, Stuart. Eben has
always been the soul of generosity to me. He hates from the core of his
heart these changes of which you speak. He has tolerated them only
because I wanted them. With you here I can't be just to him. I contrast
the little characteristics in him that grate on me and annoy me with the
qualities in you that set me eagerly on fire. I tell you it's all unjust
and it's all my fault."
She paused and then, because her knees still felt weak and her head was
swimming, she dropped wearily down and sat on the small bench at the
side of the float.
Stuart's senses were keyed to concert pitch. Some tempting voice
whispered to his inner realization that, should he pitch the battle on
the plane of passion's attack, he could sweep her from her anchorage. To
his mind she was more beautiful and desirable than Circe must have
seemed to Ulysses, but like the great wanderer he battled against that
voluptuous madness. If he lost it would be the defeat of a man, but if
he won, by that appeal, only the victory of an animal. His voice
remained almost judicially calm.
"But this changed attitude--this positive urbanity where there used to
be utter intolerance--how do you account for that?"
She looked very straight into his eyes and spoke steadfastly.
"I can only account for it in one way--and it's a thing which doesn't
make me feel very proud of myself, Stuart. I think that he, too, has
been deluded by what you call my splendid semblance. I believe he trusts
me utterly. He has seen us together and thinks I've stood the acid
test--and I've got to do it."
"But why did he ask me here, if he thought there was danger?"
"Because he had the courage to trust his happiness under fire."
"That implies that until now--at least--he was in doubt."
"Grave doubt. I think he was almost ready to call it all a failure."
After a long silence Stuart Farquaharson spoke with a quiet of
resolution which held more feeling than could have been voiced by
vehemence.
"You have told me enough, Conscience. I will _not_ go. _You_ have tried
it with a desperate sincerity for three years--and it's a failure. You
have fought splendidly to vindicate the whole monstrous travesty, but it
can't be vindicated. It was doomed by every law of nature from the
start. We have now not only the right but the duty to rectify it, and to
rectify it together. You must divorce him."
"Divorce him!" The woman came to her feet and her eyes were starry with
a light that held a momentary flicker of scorn. "Divorce him when his
whole married life has been dedicated to the single purpose of trying to
make me happy ... when his only fault is that he has failed to interest
me?... Divorce him because we find too late that we still love each
other? If that is your only counsel, Stuart, you have nothing to
offer--but treason!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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