Elaine could think of many of her countrymen who were not and never could
have been youthful, but as far as Courtenay was concerned she recognised
the fitness of the remark. And the recognition carried with it a sense
of depression. Would he always remain youthful and keen on gaiety and
revelling while she grew staid and retiring? She had thrust the lively
intractable Comus out of her mind, as by his perverseness he had thrust
himself out of her heart, and she had chosen the brilliant young man of
affairs as her husband. He had honestly let her see the selfish side of
his character while he was courting her, but she had been prepared to
make due sacrifices to the selfishness of a public man who had his career
to consider above all other things. Would she also have to make
sacrifices to the harlequin spirit which was now revealing itself as an
undercurrent in his nature? When one has inured oneself to the idea of a
particular form of victimisation it is disconcerting to be confronted
with another. Many a man who would patiently undergo martyrdom for
religion’s sake would be furiously unwilling to be a martyr to neuralgia.
“I think that is why you English love animals so much,” pursued the young
diplomat; “you are such splendid animals yourselves. You are lively
because you want to be lively, not because people are looking on at you.
Monsieur Courtenay is certainly an animal. I mean it as a high
compliment.”
“Am I an animal?” asked Elaine.
“I was going to say you are an angel,” said the Russian, in some
embarrassment, “but I do not think that would do; angels and animals
would never get on together. To get on with animals you must have a
sense of humour, and I don’t suppose angels have any sense of humour; you
see it would be no use to them as they never hear any jokes.”
“Perhaps,” said Elaine, with a tinge of bitterness in her voice, “perhaps
I am a vegetable.”
“I think you most remind me of a picture,” said the Russian.
It was not the first time Elaine had heard the simile.
“I know,” she said, “the Narrow Gallery at the Louvre; attributed to
Leonardo da Vinci.”
Evidently the impression she made on people was solely one of externals.
Was that how Courtenay regarded her? Was that to be her function and
place in life, a painted background, a decorative setting to other
people’s triumphs and tragedies? Somehow to-night she had the feeling
that a general might have who brought imposing forces into the field and
could do nothing with them. She possessed youth and good looks,
considerable wealth, and had just made what would be thought by most
people a very satisfactory marriage. And already she seemed to be
standing aside as an onlooker where she had expected herself to be taking
a leading part.
“Does this sort of thing appeal to you?” she asked the young Russian,
nodding towards the gay scrimmage of masqueraders and rather prepared to
hear an amused negative.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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