England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; English fiction -- 19th century
"Could you let me have some more books to read?" she asked.
"I have brought one, thinking you might be ready for it."
It was "Jane Eyre." She glanced over the pages eagerly.
"I don't know how it is," she said, "I have grown so hungry for reading
of late. Till just now I never cared for it. When I was a child and
went to school, I didn't like my lessons. Still I learned a good deal,
for a little girl, and it has stayed by me. And oh, it seems so long
ago! Never mind, perhaps I will tell you all about that some day."
They were together for an hour or so. Waymark, uneasily watching his
companion's every movement, rose as soon as she gave sign of weariness,
and Ida did not seek to detain him.
"I shall think much of you," he said.
"The less the better," was Ida's reply.
For his comfort, yes,--Waymark thought, as he walked homewards. Ida had
already a dangerous hold upon him; she possessed his senses, and set
him on fire with passionate imaginings. Here, as on every hand, his
cursed poverty closed against him the possibilities of happiness. That
she should ever come to love him, seemed very unlikely; the alliance
between them could only be a mere caprice on her part, such as girls of
her kind are very subject to; he might perhaps fill up her intervals of
tedium, but would have no share in her real life. And the thought of
that life fevered him with jealousy. She might say what she liked about
never having known love, but it was of course impossible that she
should not have a preference among her lovers. And to think of the
chances before such a girl, so blessed with rare beauty and endless
charms. In the natural order of events she would become the mistress of
some rich man; might even, as at times happens, be rescued by marriage;
in either case, their acquaintance must cease. And, indeed, what right
had he to endeavour to gain her love having nothing but mere beggarly
devotion to offer her in return? He had not even the excuse of one who
could offer her married life in easy circumstances,--supposing that to
be an improvement on her present position. Would it not be better at
once to break off these impossible relations? How often he had promised
himself, in moments of clear thought, never again to enter on a course
which would obviously involve him in futile suffering. Why had he not
now the strength to obey his reason, and continue to possess his soul
in the calm of which he had enjoyed a brief taste?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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