The Uncollected Writings of Thomas de Quincey, Vol. 2: With a Preface and Annotations by James HoggDe Quincey, Thomas
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The Uncollected Writings of Thomas de Quincey, Vol. 2: With a Preface and Annotations by James Hogg
De Quincey, Thomas
English literature
He had probably,--and this was, indeed,
subsequently ascertained,--at first, and for some time afterwards,
mistaken her rank, and had addressed some proposals to her, which, from
the suppressed tone of his speaking, or from her own terror and
surprise, she had not clearly understood; but enough had reached her
alarmed ear to satisfy her that they were of a nature in the last degree
licentious and insulting. Terrified and shocked rather than indignant,
for she too easily presumed the man to be a maniac, she hurried
homewards; and was rejoiced, on first venturing to look round when close
to her own gate, to perceive that the man was not following. There,
however, she was mistaken; for either on this occasion, or on some
other, he had traced her homewards. The last of these rencontres had
occurred just three months before the fatal 6th of April; and if, in any
one instance, Agnes had departed from the strict line of her duty as a
wife, or had shown a defect of judgment, it was at this point--in not
having frankly and fully reported the circumstances to me. On the last
of these occasions I had met her at the garden-gate, and had
particularly remarked that she seemed agitated; and now, at recalling
these incidents, Agnes reminded me that I had noticed that circumstance
to herself, and that she had answered me faithfully as to the main fact.
It was true she had done so; for she had said that she had just met a
lunatic who had alarmed her by fixing his attention upon herself, and
speaking to her in a ruffian manner; and it was also true that she did
sincerely regard him in that light. This led me at the time to construe
the whole affair into a casual collision with some poor maniac escaping
from his keepers, and of no future moment, having passed by without
present consequences. But had she, instead of thus reporting her own
erroneous impression, reported the entire circumstances of the case, I
should have given them a very different interpretation. Affection for
me, and fear to throw me needlessly into a quarrel with a man of
apparently brutal and violent nature--these considerations, as too often
they do with the most upright wives, had operated to check Agnes in the
perfect sincerity of her communications. She had told nothing _but_ the
truth--only, and fatally it turned out for us both, she had not told the
_whole_ truth. The very suppression, to which she had reconciled herself
under the belief that thus she was providing for my safety and her own
consequent happiness, had been the indirect occasion of ruin to both. It
was impossible to show displeasure under such circumstances, or under
any circumstances, to one whose self-reproaches were at any rate too
bitter; but certainly, as a general rule, every conscientious woman
should resolve to consider her husband's honour in the first case, and
far before all other regards whatsoever; to make this the first, the
second, the third law of her conduct, and his personal safety but the
fourth or fifth.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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