Great Britain -- Social conditions -- 19th century; London (England) -- Description and travel
So, he was bled and he was blistered, and he was this and that, for six
whole days and nights. So, then he again asked leave to speak to the
Admiral. The Admiral giv’ leave. He went down on his knees in the Great
State Cabin. ‘Now, Admiral, you must die! You took no warning; you must
die! The rats are never wrong in their calculations, and they make out
that they’ll be through, at twelve to-night. So, you must die!—With me
and all the rest!’ And so at twelve o’clock there was a great leak
reported in the ship, and a torrent of water rushed in and nothing could
stop it, and they all went down, every living soul. And what the
rats—being water-rats—left of Chips, at last floated to shore, and
sitting on him was an immense overgrown rat, laughing, that dived when
the corpse touched the beach and never came up. And there was a deal of
seaweed on the remains. And if you get thirteen bits of seaweed, and dry
them and burn them in the fire, they will go off like in these thirteen
words as plain as plain can be:
‘A Lemon has pips,
And a Yard has ships,
And _I_’ve got Chips!’
The same female bard—descended, possibly, from those terrible old Scalds
who seem to have existed for the express purpose of addling the brains of
mankind when they begin to investigate languages—made a standing pretence
which greatly assisted in forcing me back to a number of hideous places
that I would by all means have avoided. This pretence was, that all her
ghost stories had occurred to her own relations. Politeness towards a
meritorious family, therefore, forbade my doubting them, and they
acquired an air of authentication that impaired my digestive powers for
life. There was a narrative concerning an unearthly animal foreboding
death, which appeared in the open street to a parlour-maid who ‘went to
fetch the beer’ for supper: first (as I now recall it) assuming the
likeness of a black dog, and gradually rising on its hind-legs and
swelling into the semblance of some quadruped greatly surpassing a
hippopotamus: which apparition—not because I deemed it in the least
improbable, but because I felt it to be really too large to bear—I feebly
endeavoured to explain away. But, on Mercy’s retorting with wounded
dignity that the parlour-maid was her own sister-in-law, I perceived
there was no hope, and resigned myself to this zoological phenomenon as
one of my many pursuers. There was another narrative describing the
apparition of a young woman who came out of a glass-case and haunted
another young woman until the other young woman questioned it and
elicited that its bones (Lord! To think of its being so particular about
its bones!) were buried under the glass-case, whereas she required them
to be interred, with every Undertaking solemnity up to twenty-four pound
ten, in another particular place. This narrative I considered—I had a
personal interest in disproving, because we had glass-cases at home, and
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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