Great Britain -- Social conditions -- 19th century; London (England) -- Description and travel
clutching their heads of hair. A pretty birthday speech when Dr. Sleek
of the City-Free bobbed up his powdered head in the stage-box, and said
that before this assembly dispersed he really must beg to express his
entire approval of a lecture as improving, as informing, as devoid of
anything that could call a blush into the cheek of youth, as any it had
ever been his lot to hear delivered. A pretty birthday altogether, when
Astronomy couldn’t leave poor Small Olympia Squires and me alone, but
must put an end to our loves! For, we never got over it; the threadbare
Orrery outwore our mutual tenderness; the man with the wand was too much
for the boy with the bow.
When shall I disconnect the combined smells of oranges, brown paper, and
straw, from those other birthdays at school, when the coming hamper casts
its shadow before, and when a week of social harmony—shall I add of
admiring and affectionate popularity—led up to that Institution? What
noble sentiments were expressed to me in the days before the hamper, what
vows of friendship were sworn to me, what exceedingly old knives were
given me, what generous avowals of having been in the wrong emanated from
else obstinate spirits once enrolled among my enemies! The birthday of
the potted game and guava jelly, is still made special to me by the noble
conduct of Bully Globson. Letters from home had mysteriously inquired
whether I should be much surprised and disappointed if among the
treasures in the coming hamper I discovered potted game, and guava jelly
from the Western Indies. I had mentioned those hints in confidence to a
few friends, and had promised to give away, as I now see reason to
believe, a handsome covey of partridges potted, and about a hundredweight
of guava jelly. It was now that Globson, Bully no more, sought me out in
the playground. He was a big fat boy, with a big fat head and a big fat
fist, and at the beginning of that Half had raised such a bump on my
forehead that I couldn’t get my hat of state on, to go to church. He
said that after an interval of cool reflection (four months) he now felt
this blow to have been an error of judgment, and that he wished to
apologise for the same. Not only that, but holding down his big head
between his two big hands in order that I might reach it conveniently, he
requested me, as an act of justice which would appease his awakened
conscience, to raise a retributive bump upon it, in the presence of
witnesses. This handsome proposal I modestly declined, and he then
embraced me, and we walked away conversing. We conversed respecting the
West India Islands, and, in the pursuit of knowledge he asked me with
much interest whether in the course of my reading I had met with any
reliable description of the mode of manufacturing guava jelly; or whether
I had ever happened to taste that conserve, which he had been given to
understand was of rare excellence.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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