Melia also felt very uncomfortable. She couldn't find a word to say
and the children stared at her. But she sat on the edge of a chair
that Gerty provided; tea, bread and butter and cake were given her;
she began to eat and drink mechanically, but still she felt strangely
hostile and unhappy. She resented the bright plumage, the amazing
prosperity of those among whom she had been born; above all, she
resented Ethel's superciliousness and Gerty's patronage. Ethel, of
course, had a right to be supercilious, and that fact was an added
barb. Her light shone. SHE was the only one who had shed any luster
on the family; her marriage with a doctor rising to eminence in the
town was a model of judicious ambition. Ethel "had done very well for
herself," and even the set of her hat, black tulle and white feathers
and the opulent lines of her spotted muslin dress, seemed to proclaim
it. Her bearing completed the picture. She had not been in the same
room with Amelia for many years, although she had passed her once or
twice in the street without speaking; and at the moment her judicious
mind was fully engaged with the problem as to whether Gwenneth and
Gwladys could or could not call her "Auntie." Finally, but not at
once, the answer was in the negative.
Amelia, without a word to say for herself, and suffering acutely from
a social awkwardness which a lonely life in sordid circumstances had
made much worse, was altogether out of it. Ethel and Gerty had charm
and elegance; they spoke a different language; they might have belonged
to a different race. Amelia's natural ally should have been her mother.
They had much in common but that depressed and inefficient woman was
nearly as tongue-tied as her eldest daughter. Ethel and Gerty were
almost as far beyond the range of Maria as they were beyond the range
of Amelia; their expensive clothes and their correct talk of This and
That and These and Those, with clear, high-pitched intonation filled
her with dismay. Maria, even in her own drawing-room, was in such awe
of them that she could make no overtures to Amelia, although she simply
longed to point to the vacant sofa beside her and to say, "Come and sit
over here, my dear."
The eldest daughter of the house bitterly regretted the folly that had
brought her among them again after so many years of outlawry. But in
a few minutes her father came in and then she got on better. He was
the real cause of her present sufferings, but his own freedom from
self-consciousness or the least tendency to pose amid surroundings
which seemed to crave that form of weakness was exactly what the
situation called for.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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