German fiction -- Translations into English; Germany -- Fiction; Sin -- Fiction
She was quite sure that she hated him; but, all the same, whatever he
did was no business of anybody else's. After supper she rushed into the
dusky garden. She felt as if something had happened within her and
without, the existence of which, up till now, she had not dreamed. She
didn't know what it was, or what to call it, but that it was nothing
good was proved by the anger which stormed in her breast at the thought
of it. What did it mean if the beautiful woman had really poured some
of her perfume on to his coat? But no, that wasn't the question. Why
had he degraded himself by telling a lie? He, the haughty Leo, who had
so loftily disdained her humble love! Why had he made a secret of this
visit to Uhlenfelde, when, as a rule, he came from there openly,
bringing messages of greeting from his friend?
Of course this beauty was a thousand times more beautiful than she was,
and much cleverer, no doubt. It did not need much self-abasement to
accord her the superiority. But the great insoluble problem, the
stumbling-block to all her conjectures, was that she was a married
woman. If only she had not been, then he could have been in love with
her; but as it was, how could he? Women were loved by their husbands,
that was what they married for, but by no one else in the world.
Otherwise you might as well fall in love with Uncle Kutowski, or the
dog, Leo, who at this moment was rubbing his damp nose against her
sleeve, full of consolatory affection.
Shivering in the chill autumn wind, and yet with burning cheeks, she
ran up and down the dew-spangled paths, where rustling dry leaves
whirled before her like startled animals. She heard Leo's voice coming
from the yard, raised to a scolding pitch, as he inspected the ploughs
by lantern-light. Leo, the dog, answered with a joyous bay, and bounded
off twice, but returned to her in the end.
"You are better than your master," she whispered, burying her face in
his mane; and she decided that to-day, if possible, she would get to
the bottom of this question about married people being beloved by some
one to whom they weren't married.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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