German fiction -- Translations into English; Germany -- Fiction; Sin -- Fiction
He gazed before him meditatively.
She rose and came close to his chair. "Do you know, Leo," she said,
with a dreamy smile, "it would be so nice if we prayed together."
"What do you mean?"
She was embarrassed. "I mean, if we took our common trouble to the
Father...."
"Heavens! You think that would improve matters?"
She sighed. "It would be so beautiful," she whispered.
"How do you propose to do it?" he asked. "Shall we kneel down side by
side on the carpet?"
She half laughed, and flushed deeper. "You are a heathen," she pouted,
sitting down again, "and scoff at the most sacred things."
"Make your mind easy, dear child," he said seriously. "I have long ago
lost the humour for scoffing."
"Well, then, you can at least pray for me, as I pray for you."
"Do you really do that?" he asked, while a feeling of gratitude stirred
gently within him.
She nodded shamefacedly, and cast her eyes on her lap. "It is the
utmost I can do," she murmured.
Again there was silence. Their eyes met and rested in each other's
depths. A sweet, silent sympathy seemed to hover between them like a
mysterious vapour. At this moment Leo did not feel the chafing of his
chains. The thoughts of both went back to their past.
"We were too happy," breathed Felicitas, "that is why we must suffer so
much now."
He did not answer. After the manner of man, he retained less grateful
remembrances than she did of the bliss that had been theirs.
She became doubtful "Or perhaps you were not happy?" she asked.
He nodded, for, against his will, he was falling a victim to old
memories.
She gazed at him with fixed eyes, her hands pressed hard against her
forehead.
"Why did things turn out so?" she whispered. "Why could we not be
strong, and resist the temptation?"
"Why? There is no 'why' in the matter. We were young and hot-headed and
foolish, and we thought of nothing.... I, for my part, wonder now how I
could have seemed so sagacious to myself, and not cried out to the
whole world, 'See, what a dog I am. I have an affair with a woman ... a
married woman!'"
"But at first, in the beginning ... how did you feel?" she asked.
"What? In the beginning?"
"When you ... first ... guessed my love."
"When ... ah, you mean that night?"
"Do you still remember it?" she asked, leaning over to him. A pink
flame leapt up in her cheeks, her glance swam in dreamy reminiscence.
"How can such things be forgotten?" he replied, frowning and smiling at
the same time. "One must carry them to the grave."
"And as you rode home ... that night ... what did you think about?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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