German fiction -- Translations into English; Germany -- Fiction; Sin -- Fiction
Johanna's apartments were on the first floor, close to the desolate
drawing-room suite. No one answered his knocks and he walked in. A big
bare room met his eye. It was in semi-darkness, owing to the closed
shutters, and polished tables and stiff chairs were apparently arranged
at regular intervals along the walls, on which hung, as large as life,
pictures of scriptural subjects and black-letter alphabets. An
atmosphere of poverty and dirt, that abominable "poor-people's odour"
so offensive to aristocratic nostrils, lingered in this room even on
Sundays, and met him pungently as he entered it. This, then, was the
widely known "ragged-school," which turned Halewitz day by day into a
"kindergarten" institution for the poor. The room was empty; but
through an opening in the folds of the partition he saw his sister in
the next apartment, leaning, almost lying, back with closed eyes in an
armchair. Quivering, bluish shafts of light zigzagged across the dusky
floor. One of these fell on her sunken face, and brightly illumined the
red-gold hair which she generally wore hidden under her black widow's
veil.
He stood still and looked at her contemplatively. He studied the
hollows on the haggard cheeks, the crow's-feet at the relaxed corners
of the mouth, and that hard straight line running from chin to throat,
the autumnal sign which no art can eradicate.
A shiver ran through him. What must her life have been since, as the
young bride of a gay cavalier, she went out into the world, that she
should have come back a faded wreck at little more than thirty years of
age to bury herself alive in this living grave--a mere sister of
charity, with no interest outside the wretched scrofulous children of
the peasantry?
He pulled the _portière_ aside. A curious scent of heliotrope and
strong hartshorn was wafted towards him.
She had not heard his footstep till now, and slowly opened her tired
eyes, which, directly she saw who it was, took on that fixed
clairvoyant expression that had made them so terrible to him.
Some of his old youthful respect for her came back momentarily, so that
he needed to give himself a slight reminder before he could resume his
manner of easy defiance.
"I have come to talk seriously to you," he said, frowning, as he placed
a chair not quite opposite her, so that the corner of the table was
still between them.
She drew herself slowly erect, and pushed the leather cushion against
which her head had been resting lower to support her back.
"I have been expecting you, dear Leo," she said, "ever since that day we
met again. You must have been saying to yourself all the time that it
was not the same between us as it used to be, yet you have not come for
an explanation. It is your own fault that you have had to carry about
with you the consciousness of being estranged from your sister. But,
all the same, you have managed to go your way laughing and whistling.
That is the first thing I have to reproach you with."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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