“Well, let it be so,” said his wife, “you will know better another time.
Claude, you are just my bairn to-night. You will say your prayers and go
to your bed, and the Lord in heaven and me at your bedside, like a dream
it will all pass away.”
He dropped down heavily upon his knees, and bent his head upon the
table.
“Mary, I feel as if I could say nought but this: Depart from me, for I
am a sinful man, oh Lord.”
“You know well,” she said, “the hasty man that Peter was, if ever he had
been taken at his word. And do you mind what was the answer? It was just
‘Follow me.’”
“Father, forgive me. Master, forgive me,” he breathed through the hands
that covered his face, and then his voice broke out in the words of an
older faith, words which she understood but dimly, and which frightened
her with the mystery of an appeal into the unknown. _Kyrie Eleison_,
_Christ Eleison_, the man said, humbled to the very depths.
The woman stood trembling over him not knowing how to follow. His voice
rolled forth low and intense, like the sound of an organ into the
silent room; hers faltered after in sobs inarticulate, terrified,
exalted, understanding nothing, comprehending all.
This scene was scarcely ended when Elsie burst out singing over her
work, forgetting that there was any trouble in the world: to each its
time, and love through all.
Mr. Buchanan was very much shaken with physical illness and weakness
next morning, than where there is nothing more healing for a spirit that
has been put to the question, as in the old days of the Inquisition, but
by rack and thumbscrew still more potent than these. His head ached, his
pulses fluttered. He felt as if he had been beaten, he said, not a nerve
in him but tingled; he could scarcely stand on his feet. His wife had
her way with him, which was sweet to her. She kept him sheltered and
protected in his study under her large and soft maternal wing. It was to
her as when one of her children was ill, but not too ill--rather
convalescent--in her hands to be soothed and caressed into recovery.
This was an immense and characteristic happiness to herself even in the
midst of her pain. In the afternoon after she had fed him with
nourishing meats, appropriate to his weakness, a visitor was announced
who startled them both. Mr. Morrison, the writer, sent up his name and a
request to have speech of Mr. Buchanan, if the minister were well enough
to receive him. There was a rapid consultation between the husband and
wife.
“Are you fit for it, Claude?”
“Yes, yes, let us get it over: but stay with me,” he said.
Mrs. Buchanan went down to meet the man of business, and warn him of her
husband’s invalid condition.
“He is a little low,” she said. “You will give no particular importance,
Mr. Morrison, to any despondent thing he may say.”
“Not I, not I,” cried the cheerful man of business. “The minister has
his ill turns like the rest of us: but with less occasion than most of
us, I’m well aware.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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