“The better I’m fitted to speak,” said Mrs. Buchanan. “But,” she said,
putting down her work, and rising from her chair, “I married your
father, Elsie! and that makes all the difference,” she said with
dignity, as she went away.
What was the difference it made? Elsie asked herself the question,
shaking back her hair from her face, and the tears from her eyes. Her
cheeks were so hot and flushed with this argument, that the drops from
her eyes boiled as they touched them. What made the difference? If ever
she married a man, she said to herself, he should be a man of whom she
would think as her mother did, that being _him_ was what made all the
difference. The image that rose before her mind was not, alas! of a man
like her father, handsome and dignified and suave, a man of whom either
girl or woman might be proud. She was not proud of his appearance, if
truth must be told: there were many things in him that did not please
her. Sometimes she was impatient, even vexed at his inaptitudes, the
unconscious failures of a man who was not by birth or even by early
breeding a gentleman. This thought stung her very sorely. Upon the sands
ploutering, as she said, in the salt water, his bonnet pushed back, his
shirt open at the neck, his coat hanging loosely on his shoulders! Elsie
would have liked to re-dress that apparition, to dust the yellow sand
from him and the little ridges of shattered shells which showed on his
rough clothes as they did on the sea-shore. But no hand could keep that
figure in order, even in a dream. And alas! he would be no placed
minister like her father, or like Marion’s husband, with a pleasant
manse and a kirk in which all men would do him honour. Alas, alas, no!
They did not reverence Johnny. They came plucking at him, crowding about
him, calling to him, the very littlest of them, the very poorest of
them, Elsie said to herself, to let them see the new beast! But at this
thought her heart melted into the infinite softness of that approval,
which is perhaps the most delightful sentiment of humanity, the approval
of those we love--our approval of them more exquisite still than their
approval of us. Elsie did not care the least for the new beast. She was
altogether unscientific. She did not see the good of it, any more than
the most ignorant. But when she thought of his genial countenance
beaming over the small, the poor, the ignorant, her heart swelled, and
she approved of him with all her soul.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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