Rhoda's breath caught like a sob at that, for there unknowingly went a
stroke at Christian. She gathered herself together for bitter onslaught,
for outraged pride and indignation drove out compunction, drove out any
mercy. Out it all shrivelled at a blasting thought that stopped her very
heart. Mute she stood, white, shuddering, staring. Then she got out a
whisper.
'When did he go--tell me? Since--my uncle died--or--before?'
'Well enough you know 'twas before----'
Rhoda turned and fled homeward, fleet as terror, though her knees went
slack and her brain reeled. She drew bolts before her dreadful incoherent
whispers welled out to Lois.
'Where he went she did not know, did not guess, never thought it was on a
planned venture. None would think of that, or think that two alone would
suffice, or dream of Christian--I had thought that strange--you too. And
we know Christian went on a venture, by the three gold pieces we know:
and that could not have been alone, and he is not of the League. And I
thought it had been with Philip; and I thought Philip meant
kindness--perhaps for my sake, which vexed me. Oh, perhaps it was for my
sake, and I was vexed! Yet see, none others guess it nor do conceive that
any, in any cause, would go hand in hand with our Christian. And none
would greatly mark his goings and comings--Christian's--for unreason has
so chartered his ways. Then, though both were away that same day, not
even his mother had noted it. And oh! think of Christian in these days!
Has sorrow only been heavy at his heart? And a hurt on his throat he
would not show. And oh!' she said, 'and oh!' she said, and failed and
tried again, 'oh! his knife--_he has not his knife_.'
The love and faith of Lois sprang up against belief.
'Child, child! what do you dare to say--to think? Would you hint that
Christian--my boy Christian--has done murder?
'No, no, never! No, never, never! I would stake my life--my soul--that it
was fair fight!'
Lois looked at her and said a cruel thing: 'You are no helpmeet for him.
Thank God! you are not his wife!'
Rhoda quivered at that, and found it a saying hard to forgive. Her heart
swelled to refute it, and might not for maidenhood. Long ago she would
have had Christian rise up to avenge himself terribly; her pride had
suffered from the poor temper she saw in his. Now, though he had
exceeded the measure of her vague desire, he stood fair and high in her
estimation, illuminated, not blackened by the crime she imputed. Against
all the world, against his mother, she was at one with him. Was there any
other who desired and deserved the nearest and dearest claim, that she
had renounced.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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