England -- Fiction; Mothers and daughters -- Fiction
"Good God! How clearly one sees it all! In your family it was your
father who began it, by preying first on her, and in a kind of horrid
retaliation she turned and preyed on you. Milly escaped, but only for a
time; she came home in the end; then she preyed in her turn. She gripped
you through her physical weakness, and then there were two of them! Two
of them? Why, the whole world's full of them! Not a Seabourne anywhere
but has its army of octopi; they thrive and grow fat in such places.
Look at Ralph Rodney: I believe he was brilliant at college, but Uncle
John devoured him, and you know what Ralph was when he died. Look at
Elizabeth: do you think she's really happy? Well, I'm going to tell you
now what I kept from you the other day. Elizabeth got free, but not
quite soon enough; she's never been able to make up for the blood she
lost in all those years at Seabourne. She's just had enough vitality
left to patch her life together somehow, and make my brother think that
all is very well with her. But she couldn't deceive me, and she knew it;
I saw the ache in her for the thing she might have been. Elizabeth's
grasped the spar; that's what she's done, and she's just, only just
managed to save herself from going under. She's rich and popular and
ageing with dignity, but she's not, and never can be now, the woman she
once dreamt of. She's killed her dream by being busy and hard and quite
unlike her real self, by taking an interest in all the things that the
soul of her laughs at. And that's what life with Ralph in Seabourne has
done for her. That, and you, Joan. I suppose I ought to hate Elizabeth,
but I can't help knowing that when she broke away there was one tentacle
more tenacious than all the rest; it clung to her until she cut it
through, and that _was_ you, who were trying unconsciously to make her a
victim of your own circumstances.
"Joan, the thing is infectious, I tell you; it's a pestilence that
infects people one after another. Even you, who were the most generous
creature that I've ever known; the disease nearly got you unawares. If
Elizabeth hadn't gone away when she did, if she had stayed in Seabourne
for your sake, then you would have been one of them. Thank God she went!
It's horrible to know that they've victimized the thing I love, but I'd
rather you were the victim than that you should have grown to be like
the rest of them, a thing that preys on the finest instincts of others,
and sucks the very soul out of them." His voice broke suddenly, and he
let his arms drop to his sides. "And I know now that I've been loving
you for all these years," he said. "I've just been loving and loving
you."
She stood speechless before his anger and misery, unable to defend
herself or her mother, conscious that he had spoken the bitter and
brutal truth.
At last she said: "Don't be too hard on Mother, Richard; she's a very
old woman now."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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