Ireland -- Emigration and Immigration -- Fiction; Ireland -- Social life and customs -- Fiction
She held a long string of grease in her fingers, and was melting it,
and when she could no longer hold it in her fingers, she threw the end
into the flame.
"I've forgiven you, Ellen.... You never tell me anything of your ideas
now; we never talk to each other, and if this last relation is broken
there will be nothing ... will there?"
"I sought Father Brennan's advice under the seal of confession, that
was all. You don't think that--"
"There are plenty of indirect ways in which he will be able to make use
of the information he has got from you."
"You have not yet heard how it happened, and perhaps when you do you
will think worse of me. I went into your room to see what books you
were reading. There was no harm in looking at a book; but you had put
the books so far into the bookcase that I could not see the name of the
author. I took up the manuscript from the table and glanced through it.
I suppose I ought not to have done that: a manuscript is not the same
as a book. And now goodnight."
She had gone to her room and did not expect him. Well, the sensual coil
was broken, and if he did not follow her now she would understand that
it was broken. He had wanted freedom this long while. They had come to
the end of the second period, and there are three--a year of mystery
and passion, and then some years of passion without mystery. The third
period is one of resignation. The lives of the parents pass into the
children, and the mated journey on, carrying their packs. Seldom,
indeed, the man and the woman weary of the life of passion at the same
time and turn instinctively into the way of resignation like animals.
Sometimes it is the man who turns first, sometimes it is the woman. In
this case it was the man. He had his work to do, and Ellen had her
child to think of, and each must think of his and her task from
henceforth. Their tasks were not the same. Each had a different task;
she had thrown, or tried to throw, his pack from his shoulders. She had
thwarted him, or, tried to thwart him. He grew angry as he thought of
what she had done. She had gone into his study and read his papers, and
she had then betrayed him to a priest. He lay awake thinking how he had
been deceived by Ellen; thinking that he had been mistaken; that her
character was not the noble character he had imagined. But at the
bottom of his heart he was true to the noble soul that religion could
not extinguish nor even his neglect.
She said one day: "Is it because I read your manuscript and told the
priest, that you would not come to my room, or is it because you are
tired of me?"
"I cannot tell you; and, really, this conversation is very painful. I
am engaged upon my work, and I have no thoughts for anything but it."
Another time when he came from the piano and sat opposite to her she
raised her eyes from her sewing and sat looking at him, and then
getting up suddenly she put her hands to her forehead and said to
herself: "I will conquer this," and she went out of the room.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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