Oh! he demanded so little. And all the plenty that was forced on him
contained not that little. Everywhere, about him, above him, that little
was. Yet, he could not reach it. He did not know how; he did not dare,
even if he had known! For it seemed to him that all the world of men
was a conspiracy against his having this mite he needed, this mite that
had once been strewn through all the world and that now, only the
despised were left to revel in. And he did not dare. For, vague as his
knowledge was, he saw that the arch-conspirators against his having it
were those he loved. To gain his little would be to wound these loved
ones. With the thought, his heart broke in two.
So Quincy merely sat there. And finally, he allowed his mussed head with
its flood of delicate black hair to fall on his mother’s faultless
linen, where her old hand could stroke it. And in this posture of strain
and of devotion, the woman that gripped his soul as once her womb had
gripped his body, gave forth the poison-nourishment that he drank in.
When was he to be born of her, again?
“Quincy, my boy,” she said, “there are so many ways for you to change,
that it gives your mother a big pain to think of them. You must be
thankful for these pains, my dear. A mother’s suffering should be a
treasure and a reminder of duty, that you should never forget.”
And the old, weary canons of a herd-race, hedging in its deformities and
greed against the flaming grandeur of a nature it has denied, were
vented to make this child conform, in whom a tinge of the old gaieties
and loves still dared to linger. A mother’s advice! How stubborn is the
strength of man, that through these generations man’s tender sprouts
should have outlived a mother’s advice! By the old laws, she bears her
child--the old laws of nature and of joy, of fertility and courage and
abandon. And by the new laws, she rears him--the laws of compromise and
pain, of soul-oppression and cowardice and cover. And by the fair love
of the first law, she presses her advantage for the law of the herd that
claims her creature as a slave. A queen, conceiving in her regal bed,
enslaved and giving birth to a slave-child. Here is the cycle of most
women.
Quincy held his head low as his mother admonished and advised him. It
was all still dim and uncertain in his mind, why these things seemed
wrong to him; why they revolted him; why the common wisdom and love of
his mother should be despised. Quincy did not understand, as she went
on, how apt it was that his head should be held low.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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