The dance and rigid music gave way to innumerable little eddies physical
and murmurous, of conversation. The long hall shrunk in this more
intricate design. The crowd turned upon itself with false gestures of
ease, deeply aware of its own stiffness. All of this life moved as if
embarrassed by what neighbored it. So its impulse became broken also,
its voice became a sum of flinty, too small mosaics, its movements
lignified. Here and there was the gleam of an eye lit by a mind. And
where that was, there was a note dissenting, a line out of all
composition with the rest. Quincy was learning balance. He held himself
erect in this disharmony of currents, joined so compactly because the
place and the purpose formed a like disharmony. He was swirled about
here, like a canoeist amid mild breakers, where the ocean meets the land
and it is neither land nor ocean. There was no sense here of direction
so that his swirling to and fro was proper. All that was needed was not
to be submerged. And this prowess, Quincy had attained. By being aware
of the unit of all this, the surface grew hard beneath him so as to
support him. In this consciousness, he was sustained from pressing upon
one point, from sinking with a weight of interest below the
convention-outlined waves. So long as he could survive in this
impersonality, he was safe.
And then, he espied Clarice Lodge.
With this stress, the dance grew tenuous; the crowd turned from hard,
choked material to vapor; the music which had been obtrusive, separate,
was a mere rhythm of accompaniment. All of it in a trice became an
incense to him. It had been external, alien--copable. Now, it was no
case of balancing above it nor of falling in. All of it was an
atmosphere. And all of him was a maze of pores, aching and yearning to
receive.
He pressed his way toward her through shreds and fragments of life that
gesticulated, gyred, sent up and over him their acrid wafts of perfume.
A silk gown swished against him; a bare arm touched his hand; a pointed
slipper scarred the surface of his own. The couples stood close
together, clapped their hands metallically for an encore. The band
turned back into the nearly naked rhythm it had just torn to
scraps--repiecing it. The couples swayed and slid away. He lost his
quarry in the once more thickening, knotted turmoil--half substance and
half atmosphere. He was whiffed to the margin of it. He stood now,
flanked by a long straggled row of men, until once more the music gave
him respite to resume his search.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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